


Like the Fox and the Hound

by Iflyinmydreams (orphan_account)



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), The Fox and the Hound (1981)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Broken Promises, Childhood Friends, First Love, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Innocence, M/M, Soulmates, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 19:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 31,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20644757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Iflyinmydreams
Summary: Light and L are childhood friends who first meet at five years old. As they grow older, life has a way of trying to tear apart these ill fated lovers who move mountains to try to be together. Will their love be enough?





	1. First Friend

When they were little, Light and L lived right next-door to each other. The only thing that separated their houses were a line of planted evergreen trees, designed to provide privacy on the border of either property. They didn't make for a good fence, however, so the kids were constantly back and forth between their respective yards, playing together.

When Light and L first met, Light’s parents had brought a casserole over to L's house to welcome them to the neighborhood. They'd only lived there a month themselves, however. L was immediately drawn to Light, and his five year old self left the safety and comfort of standing behind his mother's legs and grabbed Light by the hand. “We’re going to be best friends!” he announced, all hope and life in his giant grey eyes.

The suddenness of L's gesture took Light by surprise, but he smiled and laughed as L brought him to his room to play with his toys. The two children made themselves busy planning world domination with stuffed tigers and super hero dolls while the parents visited. After a grand mess was made and L's mom offered them snacks, L turned to Light and said in a low voice, “I have a secret to tell you.”

“What is it?” Light asked, leaning in, leftover bits of peanut butter and jelly on his face.

“You're my first friend.”

Light wasn’t able to respond because his mom came calling for him. It was getting late and time to go home. He would be back, however. Over the years, he would be back many, many times. They'd play for hours in the woods behind their houses, just the two of them, exploring new continents in their imaginations. They'd have sleep overs and fall asleep talking to each other or using flashlights to read books in the bed they shared.

L was never a good sleeper, even as a baby he'd stay up all night and cry. At seven years old he only slept soundly when Light was there with him. According to L, Light kept the monsters at bay.

By ten years old, they knew they loved each other as more than friends. L was too innocent to know what gay was, but Light knew, and he knew that in order to survive school they'd have to keep their love secret. They shared their first kiss on the woods behind their houses. It was perfect and innocent and sweet.

Bullies found L to be an easy target, but Light defended him. Light was popular and even though L was not, Light love him fiercely. One day a kid gave L a black eye behind the gym when Light wasn't there to protect him.

“You need to start defending yourself, L,” Light said as L stared at the ground.

“How?” He turned big, sore eyes to Light.

“Take martial arts with me. Tell your mom to sign you up. We’ll learn how to kick those kid's butts!” Light’s enthusiasm made L feel better. It always did.

The boys enjoyed adding learning how to punch and kick to the many things they did together everyday. They did homework together, ate together, went almost everywhere together. That is, until L's dad got sick and died. It was a quick decline, and he passed away right before L's eleventh birthday.

As an adult, L would claim he didn't remember his father's funeral. That wouldn't be entirely true, however. He remembered Light sitting with him on the staircase, holding his hand. That night, in bed, Light held him as he cried himself to sleep. Those were things L could never forget.

“Baby, you have to go with Mr. Wammy,” his mother explained as she sat across from him at their dining room table. It had been about a week since the funeral. She couldn't afford the house, the hospital bills, and a child now that her husband had passed.“He’s going to take you to his special school where you'll learn all kinds of new and amazing things.”

He didn't want anything to do with that. The tall older man looked ominous to him and he was afraid of him. L jumped from his chair and ran outside to find Light. It didn't take him long as Light was already on his way over to L's house. “What’s wrong?” Light asked a crying L.

L just grabbed his hand and pulled him into the forest, running as fast as he could. He didn't stop until his lungs burned and they were standing in their special spot. A fallen log made a great seat by the creek and they both sat, holding hands. Finally L was able to speak, “Mom is sending me away! Let's run away, Light. Let's run away together and never return.”

Light desperately wanted to run away with L. It all sounded like a great adventure. But he knew his friend was just hurting; reeling from his father's death. They were only ten years old, where could they go that adults wouldn't find them anyway? So, Light did the only thing he knew to do, and he held his friend as he cried. He held him and he kissed him and he told him it would all be alright even if he didn't really know that. When L was finally finished crying, Light took his hand and led him back home. Somehow, in the pit of his stomach he knew he was leading L right out of his life. Things changed forever that day.

Only a day later would L be in the back of a sleek black car, hands pressed firmly against the back glass as he cried out for his friend. Light would chase the car as far as he could, but it would get away. Light had hoped it wasn't true. He hoped that L would stay and even now as he hoped in vain that L would return, he knew that wasn't true either. L's mother was packing her own things, a for sale sign in the yard. She would be moving to a small apartment in the city and while neither of them knew it yet, she would eventually kill herself there. L would truly be alone in the world, and Light would be lost without him.


	2. Far Away From Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L struggles to adjust to his new life at Wammy's.

The other children of Wammy’s tried to befriend L, but he was having none of it. There was only one person he wanted, one person he longed for, and he couldn't have him. Light and L had been together every day for nearly 6 years, so being separated so fully was traumatic for L, who found himself surrounded by unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar home. He'd get used to it, the adults said.

Taking pity on him, Watari brought L some stationary and a pen. “Why don't you write him?” He suggested kindly.

L had been running a fever so was confined to his bed with little to do but remain alone in the dark with his thoughts. He smiled at Watari for the first time. “Thank you,” he croaked from his sore throat.

With a smile, the old man patted L's hair and left. L pushed himself upright, stacking his pillows behind him so he could sit up comfortably. With pen in hand, he began to write:

“_Dear Light,_

_I miss you terribly. It isn't horrible here, but I'm alone and feel very sad a lot. I know if you were here you'd make me feel better. I dream all the time that we’re running through the woods behind your house together. I love you. Please write back._

_L”_

Watari was kind enough to mail it for him, and every day L excitedly asked if he'd been written back. Watari explained to him that it would take time, but at eleven years old L didn't care how the postal service worked. He wanted to hear from his best friend.

Finally, after an excruciating week and a half of waiting, L got a reply. He tore the envelope open as fast as he could, dancing down the hallway as he unfolded the paper to reveal Light’s neat hand writing.

“_Dear L,_

_I'm so happy to hear from you! I'm sorry you feel sad. I hope this letter makes you feel happy again. I'm sorry about what happened to your mom. I wish I could be with you and hold your hand again and tell you everything will be ok. I miss you a lot. School is boring without you. Please visit soon._

_Love, Light”_

L wondered if he was even allowed to visit Light. The children at Wammy’s weren't prisoners, and the ones with any family at all, which were very few, visited them on the holidays. It couldn't hurt to ask, he reasoned. For some reason it made him very nervous to approach Watari. The old man still scared L, but he wanted to see Light more than he was afraid.

“Mr. Wammy?” He asked, slight tremble to his voice as he stood behind Watari’s cracked office door.

“Come in, L,” he said with a smile beneath his mustache.

L looked down at his feet, “Can I visit Light sometime?”

Watari paused a moment, considering. “I would have to speak with the Yagami family. But if they're willing to keep you, I don't see why not.”

L was elated. He was so sure Light’s parents would say yes. With many thanks and a big smile on his face, L ran out of the office, skipping and jumping down the halls. Looking out the big windows of the hallway, L noticed it began snowing outside. Several children were playing in it. He loved snow, and ran to his room to grab his scarf, hat, gloves and coat. Maybe today he'd try to make other friends, he thought. Light didn't have to be his only friend, but he’d always be his first.

A few days later Watari called L into his office with good news. L would be spending Christmas break with the Yagami's. L couldn't believe it. He'd get to spend two whole weeks with them! Excitedly, he jumped from the little wood chair he was sitting in and ran to go pack his things. Watari laughed at his antics. L had carved out a special place in the old man's heart in a very short time. He knew L was different, special, set apart from the other kids.

Throwing clothing and toiletries haphazardly into his suitcase, L felt time couldn't go by fast enough. He lugged the heavy green case out to the front lobby and waited patiently on a bench in the cold for his ride. The sleek black car pulled up and L was surprised to see Watari himself would be driving.

As the airport came into view, L's stomach turned in nervous excitement. It would be the first time he flew by himself and only the second time he'd ever been on a plane. He was confident he could navigate the large airport, however. He knew the Yagami's would be waiting for him as soon as he got off the plane in Japan.

The flight was long and boring, and despite the movie playing on the screen in the back of the seat in front of him, L fell asleep for most of the flight. He woke once for snacks and soda and again for the flight attendants announcement to buckle seat belts and prepare for landing. It didn't take him long to shake off his sleepiness and feel the anxious excitement bubbling up again.

He would've run full force off the plane if he could’ve, but the plane was packed nose to tail with passengers. He'd have to wait his turn. Impatiently he shuffled forward until he was in the terminal where he could push past people and make his way into the airport, where he could see Light scanning the crowd for him. He stood with his parents, who were patiently waiting for L to arrive.

“Light!” L shouted as he took off running toward the auburn haired boy.

“L!” he shouted, breaking free of his parents to race over to L.

Both boys cried tears of joy as they hugged each other tight. They hadn't seen each other in over two months, and all their sadness and worry melted away as they embraced. “I love you,” Light whispered into his ear.

“I love you too,” L whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think so far!


	3. Christmas Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light spend Christmas break together

It was strange for L to see his old home. Someone new lived there now and had  painted the house a dark red.  Light explained to him that an older couple moved in and they were very sweet and took good care of the house. For the first time since learning he was coming to Japan, L felt sad again.  It didn't last long, however, as Light grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house. 

Everything in Light's home was just as L remembered. Light and L played games in Light's room until dinner. L had missed Sachiko's co ok ing and quickly cleaned his plate. After dinner  Souichiro made him unpack his things into a drawer Light had emptied out for him in his dresser.  The boys were then made to get ready for bed , but drove Light’s parents crazy with their silly antics.  They didn't get on to the boys too much, though. They knew they were just excited to be together again. 

Giggling and joking around , the boys changed into their pajamas. L's had tacos with smiley faces dancing all over his shirt and matching pants. Light's pajamas were covered in sharks wearing silly hats.  The boys laughed at each other's absurd clothing.  Knowing they'd get a warning if they didn't pipe down, the two climbed into bed and faced each other , clasping hands. “I'm so glad you're here,” Light said, “If it snows, let's build an igloo tomorrow.”

“Ok! I'm glad I'm here too.  I really missed you, Light.”

Light leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to L's in a sweet kiss. “I love you,” he whispered, “We’ll be together forever, L. I know it. One day we'll be grown ups and be able to live by our own rules. Nobody will make you live at a school far away from me ever again.”

L yawned and stretched and Light pulled L closer to him. “ I love you too, Light. And  that sounds good. I can't wait until we're grown-ups.” L's eyes felt heavy suddenly and he quickly fell asleep . It would be the best night's sleep he had in over two months. 

Christmas break would be a lot of fun for L despite the trauma he recently experienced losing both parents and being uprooted so abruptly. They decorated the tree, baked and ate cookies until their bellies hurt, played in the snow, and watched Christmas movies.  Light's parents bought him gifts as well, which he was not expecting. They wanted to do everything they could to make this Christmas special for L.

When he thought nobody was looking, Light stole kisses from a blushing L as they played outside in the snow. He didn't think anybody knew about them, but his mother was a wise and intuitive woman. She had known for while now that her son was different, and it didn't take her long to figure out that Light and L were much more than just friends.  She sighed into her smile as she prepared hot cocoa for them, watching them play out her kitchen window. Life would be full of obstacles for them, but she knew they were strong and as long as they had each other they would be ok. They just fit together, she felt, though she couldn't explain it. Both boys were incredibly smart and would go far in life. The future was certainly bright. She tapped on the window to get their attention and held up a mug. Both children came running in immediately.

The day would come all too soon when L would have to leave and return to  Wammy's . He and Light both cried as they hugged goodbye,  Sachiko's heart broken for them both. They hoped he'd come back that spring when the boys next had off from school. It was only a few months away, they reasoned. 

What none of them knew was that L would go back to England and become_ the_ L. That he'd begin the grueling process of becoming the world’s greatest detective, living a life of secrecy and isolation apart from the world. His childhood was over as he knew it, and his career began. As the years passed, Light became a distant memory, someone he rarely thought of or vaguely remembered now and again. L couldn't let his childish feelings get in the way of his work. He put them away like he put away everything in his past.

***

At the demand of a rather disgruntled  Watari , L found himself _ finally _ setting aside time to clean out his closet. He was 16 years old and a teenage train wreck if ever there was one. He was between cases so  Watari made the argument that he really had no excuse. “Are these cookies? Gross,” L said as he held up the petrified box of what used to be an edible delight.

Watari was right, he thought. His closet was fucking disgusting.  It seemed to him that it took much less effort to destroy the place than it did to clean it.  “What’s this?” he wondered out loud as he pulled a box off the shelf.  Opening it caused him to feel flooded with emotion, and he slowly lifted out its contents as he sunk cross legged to the floor. “ Oh my God,” he covered his mouth as he read one of the many letters from Light, his childish scrawl and misspelled words adorable to him now.  Towards the bottom of the stack was a picture of the two of them. They looked so happy.  _ When was the last time  _ _ I _ _ was this happy?  _ L couldn't remember.  Probably the last time he was with Light.

With a deep sigh he stood and brought the box to his bed. He would read the rest of the letters tonight.  Curiosity getting the better of him, he hopped in his office chair and turned on his computer. “I wonder…” His phone buzzed in his pocket in that moment.  _ Watari _ _ .  _ It was a text: “How's it going?”

_ Ugh. Is he watching me?  _ “ Going fine,” he  texted as he slouched back over to the closet and continued sitting through its contents.  As he cleaned, a smile crawled across his face and he wondered if Light still lived in that same house. Surely that older couple still lived in his old house, right?  Maybe not. His curiosity getting the better of him again, L abandoned his closet project and got back on his computer.   



	4. The Pull of True Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L makes some rash decisions and runs away...

That evening L read old letters by the lamp light on his nightstand.  Each word a memory, and he knew in that moment  why he'd had to leave it all behind.  It was too painful having it right here before him and yet  remain untouchable .  These feelings were a burden beyond distraction.  Yet, now that he'd opened the box, could he really stuff everything back in like it was before? That didn't seem possible. Once the flood gates had opened, that was it. 

His Google search from earlier had landed him some promising results. It appeared as though his old house in Japan was for sale. Its current occupants had been moved to a nursing home.  He might only be sixteen, but he was the wealthiest sixteen year old on the planet. There was no reason he couldn't buy a house. Besides, he reasoned, he could be L from anywhere.  He didn't _ have _ to work out of  Wammy’s .

L wondered how pissed  Watari was going to be when he discovered L was gone.  He laughed under his breath to himself. That old man knew what he was getting into with L. This wouldn't be the first time he up and disappeared and it wouldn't be the last, surely. Mostly L didn't tell the old man because he thought he'd talk him out of going.  Watari always thought Light pulled too much of his attention. Thought Light wasn't good for him. What the hell did he know, anyway? 

As L lugged his suitcase into the trunk of the car he planned on stealing from  Watari ,  he took one last glance around. He wouldn't be returning if he could help it. All this place did was tear his dreams down and replace them with information and process.  Getting into the front seat, L started the car and drove halfway down the drive before turning on the head lights. He was pretty certain everyone was asleep but he didn't want to take chances. L nervously gripped the steering wheel as he entered the main road. He was a terrible driver and he knew it.

The airport was unsurprisingly devoid of activity. He supposed most people avoided  flights at this ungodly hour. It was the perfect time for him, however. He'd always felt most alive between the hours of 1 and 3am. Part of him half expected  Watari to come running up behind him, scolding him for his detestable behavior. But as L boarded the plane and awaited take off, no such thing happened. He'd have to face the wrath of  Watari eventually, and he was alright with that. The old man stopped scaring him years ago.

What scared L now was the possibility of seeing Light again.  Would he be able to forgive L for disappearing without explanation? Would he still even care? L had never stopped loving Light. He tried to push him out of his mind for five years and make his memory into a ghost, but that didn't work. If it had, he wouldn't be  on a plane to Japan hoping and praying nervously that Light still loved him too. 

By the time the flight landed and L got his luggage and made it over to the hotel, he was dead on his feet. Bed never sounded better to him and he thought maybe he'd sleep for days. His reservation was indefinite so there was no rush. If he wanted to sleep for days, dreaming about what Light might look like now and inviting him back to his hotel room, he could.

However, L's wounded circadian rhythm had other plans. The moment daylight  hit his window and shined on his black haired mess, he was wide awake. There would be no sleeping in for the tired detective, as much as he longed for it.  Thankfully the room had a coffee maker as consolation. It wasn't the double strength brew he was used to, but it would do. 

Today's task was simple;  procure a rental car and drive to his old house to scope it out. There was just one problem; absolutely nobody in their right mind was going to rent a car to a sixteen year old kid.  _ Damnit _ _ .  _ L found himself standing in the parking lot of a seedy used car sales place with a wad of cash to do the talking. He drove off the lot in what wasn’t the _ biggest _ piece of shit he'd ever seen, but pretty close.  _ Ugh,  _ _ hopefully Light isn't there anymore _ , L thought. He didn't want Light to see him driving this green land boat. 

It seemed like L might get his wish as he pulled up and the neighborhood seemed pretty empty. It didn't look like anyone was home, but the mailbox still said “ Yagami ”. L smiled; some things never change. He parked the car along the side of the road and stood in his old driveway. Someone had been taking care of the house.  He studied the realtor lawn sign and plugged the number in his phone for later.  He knew he wanted to buy this house when he discovered it was for sale, but now that he was here, he was even more certain.

The sound of a lawn mower was growing closer and closer as the smell of fresh cut grass filled the air.  Someone was mowing the grass. Landscapers, perhaps?  But no,  L couldn't believe the sight before him as the lawn mower rounded the corner and was pushed to the front by none other than a shirtless, tan, sweaty,  lean and muscular and _ stunning _ Light  Yagami .  His jaw dropped and he stared unblinkingly until Light noticed him and cut the engine. “L?” he asked as he stood there, disbelief in his voice.

“ Light?” Of course it was Light, why the hell was he asking? “ Yes, it's me. ”

Light abandoned his mower and began walking briskly toward the other teen. L stood stock still,  not knowing what the hell to do. It wasn't until Light crashed into him with a tight hug that he came out of his daze.

“What are you doing here?” Light asked, pulling away but smiling in disbelief.

“I came to buy my parents house,” he said slowly. The notion seemed silly all of a sudden.

“Oh, wow,” Light said, “I have a key. Do you want to look around? ”

“Yes!” L couldn't believe it. Was he really about to get a tour from Light? The day couldn't possibly be going better.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Light scratched the back of his head, “I should probably put my shirt back on.”

“ You're not bothering me,” L said before he could reel in his tongue.  _ Could you sound creepier,  _ _ Lawliet _ _ ?  _ He chastised himself.

Light laughed and blushed, “C’mon, follow me.” Light’s blue t-shirt was hanging on the front porch railing. He slid it on before they went inside, much to L's dismay.  He liked what he saw and wanted to see the _ rest _ of Light.

The place was in need of a good dusting, and had several dead house plants throughout. The décor and kitchen appliances were all outdated, but otherwise the house was in good shape.  “I'll probably have it remodeled before I move in,” L mused out loud.

“ You’re really serious about this, aren't you?” Light looked at him in disbelief. “I still can't believe you're here.”

L blushed slightly, “I was hoping you still lived next door, but  I thought maybe your family had moved. I'm so glad to see you again.”

“What happened, L?  I thought for years that  I did something wrong. I wrote you so many letters-“

“You did!?” L couldn't believe it. He never received one letter from Light after he came back from Christmas break and he wasn't allowed to write Light either.  _ Watari _ _ . You bastard.  _ “I never got them. I'm so sorry Light. I think my guardian must've kept them from me.”  He reached out tentatively to squeeze Light’s hand and to his great pleasure, Light squeezed back.

“That's really shitty. Why would he do that?” Light asked, a little misty eyed and refusing to let go of L's hand. It reminded him of being a child again. L's hand felt so right in his, so natural, like it belonged there all along.

“He didn't want anything distracting me from becoming the world's  _ greatest _ detective. ” L said the words with sarcasm . Then, softening , “ I never wanted any of that. I only ever wanted you.”

Light blushed and grabbed L's free hand with his other hand and pulled the detective toward him.  Letting both hands go, he wrapped L in a warm embrace, and L could feel the heave of his shoulders as he finally cried, “I have thought of you every day for five years. Worried about you.  I thought you were never coming back.”

L simply buried his face in Light's shoulder as he felt the sting of hot tears behind his own eyes.  Why hadn’t he done this sooner? Why didn't he defy  Watari and reach out to Light? The old man had far too firm a grasp on him. He had far too much control. That ended _ today.  _ “I don't plan on leaving you again, ok?”  L assured. 

When Light lifted his head to look at L again, he surprised L with a kiss.  It wasn't the kiss of their childhood, no. It was needy and desperate, full of longing and passion. L whimpered into it as Light pushed deeper, searching for more.  L's lips parted to find the slide of a tongue against his teeth. A shock surged through him and he pressed himself into Light more ,  opening his mouth, inviting him in. 

They parted for air, both breathless and dizzy.  L found his hands in Light's hair, fingers  cardi ng through the auburn locks. “I never stopped loving you,” he whispered.

Light's smile was crooked and loving, eyes low, “ I've loved you every day since we were five years old, L. That's never going to change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this chapter was fluffy and adorable and I loved it, personally.


	5. Be With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light talk over coffee. Sachiko interrupts them

After the tour of the house, L offered to buy coffee so they could catch up.  Light had a better idea; they could just have a cup at his house.  He needed a shower anyway, he reasoned.  The thought of Light in the shower  made L feel hot all over and he didn't quite know what to do with himself.  He browsed Light’s room while he waited for him, taking  in the pictures of his family sitting on his desk.  Not much had changed in five years, it seemed.

Light entered the bedroom feeling and looking refreshed, towel drying his hair. He'd already changed in the bathroom. “Thank you for waiting. Now how about that coffee?”

L smiled slightly as he put down the framed picture he was holding. “ Sounds great.”

Leading the way, Light hung the towel to dry in the bathroom on his way down the stairs, L close behind. L's mind kept going back to that kiss, how he wanted to do it again. When they reached the kitchen, Light began brewing a pot of coffee as L leaned against the counter. “Where is everybody?”

“Mom and Dad are both at work.  Sayu is at a friend's house.” Light explained as he pulled mugs from the cupboard, “Do you still like an ungodly amount of sugar?”

L laughed and nodded, “ Your mom works now?”

“Yeah, just part time at a flower shop in town,” Light explained. He poured the fresh, hot brew into the mugs and passed L the cream and sugar, “I'll let you do your own,” he smiled.

As predicted, L scooped four heaping  spoonfuls of sugar into his cup, tasted it, grimaced, then added two more scoops. Light simply laughed at him, “You never change.”

“You have,” L said,  looking into Light's eyes. Realizing Light wasn't sure how to take the comment, L clarified, “Sorry, I just meant you seem so grown up.  So mature. ” Feeling embarrassed, he stopped talking and sipped his coffee.

Smiling, Light placed his hand over L's  where it rested on the counter, “We’re not kids anymore, L.” L's eyes drifted down to their hands as they twined fingers . “ I made you a promise, L. I would like to keep it if you'd let me.”

“What promise?” L asked,  his mind racing to try and figure out what Light was talking about.

“To be together,” Light’s smile turned shy as he rubbed his thumb over the soft, porcelain skin of L's hand. Slowly, looking from their joined hands back to L's wide grey eyes, he said, “I want to be with you.”

For all his genius, L could be a little slow.  He just  stared blankly at Light for a moment, mouth slightly open. Finally, blushing, he blurted out, “ I've never been with anyone before.”

Light laughed, cheeks rosy, mouth open, eyes crinkled. It was a hardy laugh, loud and unguarded, unlike his usual composed demeanor. “I don't mean like_ that,”_ he paused, “Ok, maybe I do, eventually. When we’re ready. But what I mean is I want a relationship with you. I want to hold your hand all the time and buy you things and kiss you every day. Would that be ok?”

Still slightly embarrassed over his faux pas, L looked down at his feet a moment before responding. It wasn't enough to hide behind his coffee cup; Light could see right through him. There was no hiding from this beautiful, charming creature who for some reason_ still_ wanted him. Not just wanted him, but wanted him_ badly._ He'd been hoping for five years to get the chance to say these things to L, and he wasn't waiting a moment longer. L realized he shouldn't wait any longer either. Lifting his eyes to Light, he finally answered, “Yes. I want those things too.”

Pure joy radiated from Light. He'd never had a_ boyfriend _before. He'd gone out with a few girls at school but it was all a façade. He wasn't interested in hiding who he was for another second. The whole world would soon know he was in love with L.  For a brief moment, his future flashed before him and he envisioned graduating from college in a few years and living with L, marrying him. Would they start a family? Would they stay in Japan? Maybe they'd travel the world together. Light couldn't wait to live out his vision. At only sixteen years old, Light knew exactly what he wanted. They might be young and naïve to the ways of the world, but he was confident they'd figure it out together.

Light set his coffee down on the counter and pressed his free hand into the small of L's back. “ Can I kiss you again?”

“I would like that,” L said, cheeks still adorably pink.

Light pressed their bodies together, untangling his fingers from L's hand to wrap it behind his head. L shivered when their lips met. Light's tongue begged for entry and L gave way, muffled groan escaping him at the foreign sensation. Soon L found his own hands roaming Light’s body. 

The passionate kiss ended abruptly when a startled L pulled away abruptly, eyes wide. He'd felt Light’s hardness press against him and he wasn't ready for it. With his have against Light's chest, he put a people distance between them. 

“What’s wrong?” Light asked, confused as he dropped his own hands to his sides.

“ You uh, just took me by surprise is all,” L said, blushing madly as his eyes drifted to Light’s tented pants.  L was hard too, embarrassed and holding his hands in front of his crotch like that helped hide anything. 

Light laughed loudly again, rubbing one of L's arms with his hand, “L, that's a normal reaction.”

“I know,” L tried to explain himself, “I'm just not ready to go down that road.”

Light's face softened and he kissed L's forehead, “Then we won't. We have all the time in the world.  Our first time should be special anyway. I don't think taking you in my parents kitchen exactly fits the bill.”

L laughed slightly at that. Feeling better, he let his hands fall away from the front of his pants. Light smirked and stared for a moment, pleased that it seemed L was well endowed from what he could tell.  He gave La few more sweet kisses, unwilling to just end their steamy make out session.

“Ahem!” A female voice rang through the house as a door closed. The boys parted immediately and both turned. Sachiko was home and they'd been caught. “L? Oh my God!” She ran over to him and threw her arms around him. “ When did you get here?”

“Yesterday,” he smiled down at her. His erection had faded at the shock of getting caught, to his great relief. “I came to buy my parents old house.”

“You’re sixteen, L. How do you plan to do that?” She asked in disbelief.

“ You'll see,” he winked at her and her heart melted.

“Well, where are you staying?” She asked, fussing over him like any good mother.

“At a local hotel,” he said.

“That won't do. Won't you stay with us?”  Sachiko asked.

L beamed, “I would love to!”

Light liked this idea as well. He liked it a lot. His mother shot him a 'behave yourself’ look, and he gave her an innocent smile. He had plans for L, however.  Nothing was going to stop him from having L in his bed, preferably naked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thoroughly enjoying writing this fic. I really hope you're enjoying reading! Let me know your thoughts so far. I'd love to hear them.


	6. Good News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L finally faces the music and calls Watari. L asks Light a very important question.

“I'm not having sex with you,” L said firmly as he stood in Light's darkened bedroom, pajamas on and ready for bed. Light's parents had given him blankets and pillows and a foam mattress for the floor, but Light had other plans.

“I'm not going to do anything to you. Now would you just get under the covers with me?” Light said with exasperation.

L huffed but walked over to the bed and slid under the covers, laying on his side facing Light. Light smiled over his victory and pulled L to him. “Are you naked?” L asked, that familiar tingle stirring between his legs at the thought.

“I have briefs on,” Light grinned wickedly and L immediately knew he shouldn't have trusted the bastard.

“You’re ridiculous,” L sighed, laying an arm over Light and lazily stroking his back.

“And you're impossible,” Light whispered as he kissed L sweetly. He didn't press for more because he promised he wouldn't.

When the kiss ended, L giggled, “I can't believe your mom caught us.”

“Eh, that's not a big deal,” Light said, “She's seen worse.”

“Like what?”

“Like last year she found my gay porn,” he gave an embarrassed smile, “She didn't throw it away, shockingly. We had a conversation about my sexuality and she promised not to tell Dad as long as I was safe and honest with her.”

“Your mom is amazing,” L marveled at the relationship they had and hoped to be that close with Sachiko one day.

“She really is. She knows I'm in love with you. She was there for me when I finally broke down, thinking you were gone forever,” he explained. “I think she's really glad you're back. I've never felt so happy.”  
“Me either,” L said, kissing Light. With a yawn, “I'm pretty tired, Light.”

Light ran fingers through L's hair, twirling the ends, “Then sleep, baby,” he said. L closed his eyes and smiled at the pet name. He could get used to this, he thought.

***

L had been ignoring his phone for two days and it was time to face Watari. Rising early to leave a sleeping Light in bed, L sat at Light’s desk and turned the phone on. The anxiety peaked as text messages and voicemails came in. Shockingly, Watari had only called and texted a few times. Once when he discovered L was missing, again when he recovered the car from the airport, and again when he figured out where he was. L played the last voicemail first, “L, I'm not angry with you, but I am disappointed that you felt you had to hide this from me. I don't like invading your privacy to figure out where you are. If you want to purchase that house, I understand, and I'm willing to sign the paperwork on your behalf. Call me when you're ready to talk.”

L was shocked. His behavior certainly warranted reprimand, yet that's not what happened at all. L dressed quietly and walked downstairs to step outside and call him back. However, he was interrupted by Sachiko in the kitchen. “Good morning, L. Coffee?”

“Oh yes,” L smiled, “Good morning.” He pocketed his phone and walked over to her, accepting the cup with a smile.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked. He nodded and she continued, “I have work early today so I don't have time to cook breakfast, but feel free to help yourself to anything in the house.”

“Thank you,” he smiled.

“I hope you really plan to stay, L. Light really loves you. He was so heart broken when you left. It was very hard for him to get through.”

L respected the warning in her message. _Hurt my son again and I'll end you_. She was a sweet, small woman, but still a mother bear within. “Actually, I was on my way outside to call Watari this morning. He's going to co-sign on the house for me, so I'm definitely staying,” he smiled and Sachiko seemed pleased.

“How exciting! Well, don't let me keep you.”

L smiled one last time before excusing himself with his coffee and stepping out on the front porch. Watari probably wasn’t awake, but he deserved a call anyway, even if it meant just leaving a voicemail. To his surprise, however, he picked up. “It's good to finally hear from you, L.”

“I'm sorry Watari,” he mumbled, pacing the porch.

“All is forgiven. Your message was loud and clear. You are not a child anymore and won't be treated as such. Adults, however, _communicate_ their thoughts, feelings and desires.”

There was the chastise, but it was still mild. L smiled into the phone, “I will do better, Watari.”

“Good. Shall I fly in to help you secure this house?”  
“That would be great, Watari.”

“I will fly out tomorrow, then. Have you contacted the agent?”

“I've done nothing, honestly.”

An audible sigh sounded across the phone line and L smiled at how frustrated Watari got with him. “I'll reach out, then. Don't worry about a thing,” he said, “I'll see you soon.”

With that, Watari hung up and L finally felt excited. He wondered if Light would move in with him. Would his parents allow that? They were both awfully young to live on their own but they'd literally be right next door. It sounded like such a great adventure to L.

The door opening behind him interrupted L's thoughts and he smiled widely to see a sleepy looking Light step outside. Light rubbed his eyes and walked over to L, pulling him close and kissing him good morning. “Watari is flying in to help me buy the house,” L said excitedly.

“Oh wow, so it's really happening,” Light woke up a little bit more at the news.

“Move in with me,” L said, giant grey eyes pleading.

Light seemed surprised he asked, though he figured he shouldn't have been. “I don't know if my parents will go for that, but I'll ask.”

L pressed his lips to Light’s in sheer joy. Surely, they could talk Light’s parents into it. Light would be on his own in a few years regardless. They watched the sun rise together, both thinking they'd never been happier in their lives. It would take a lot to pull them away from each other this time.


	7. Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watari helps L buy the house and renovations begin. Light asks his family if he can live with L.

As promised,  Watari flew in and set a meeting for them with the real estate agent. It was a lot more paperwork than L thought it would be, and he had to prove his income. Of course, while Light and his family knew who L really was, the rest of the world could not. Watari came prepared with forged documents in Ryuzaki's name, showing his employment and substantial income. 

When the agent handed L the keys to the house and congratulated him, that's when it became _ real _ to him. Smiling up at Watari, he thanked the man. Watari simply nodded, “I know this house means a lot to you. I trust you'll take good care of it.”

“Oh yes, I intend to begin renovations immediately,” L explained.

“Well, have any contractual agreements emailed directly to me. I really must be getting back.  Apparently Roger has been terrorized and locked in the basement again by Mello.” Watari laughed when he said it and walked off, thoroughly amused . 

_ Oh, Mello,  _ L thought. That blond haired maniac had actually become one of L's few friends over the years. He was the only person who didn't judge L based on his looks and awkward, shy behavior.  He also kicked L's ass when they first met because L was especially angry and picking fights with everybody. He needed a good ass whooping, and Mello certainly delivered. They'd been friends ever since.

As L saw him off, he thought there would be a time soon when he confronted Watari about intercepting the letters from Light and keeping them apart. It seemed the old man finally conceded in his own way, realizing it was futile to try and come between them.  Despite Watari’s trespasses, he found he wasn’t angry with the old man. He'd somehow made it right again, and L considered that maybe he should let the past lie where it was,  undisturbed.

The weeks passed and construction went quickly on the house. Light and L enjoyed participating in the demolition part of the kitchen cabinets and a couple walls.  They both checked the progress daily, excited to see L's vision for the house coming alive.

The two sat down with Light’s parents and discussed Light moving in with him over dinner one night. Of course, a jealous Sayu  interjected her displeasure at the idea. She quickly changed her tune when L said she could stay in their guest room any time. 

Sachiko loved the idea, but Souichiro was hard to convince. “How will you pay rent? You cannot have a job; your studies take precedence.”

“Oh, there will be no need to pay rent,” L explained, “I paid cash for the house and make enough money as L to support us both. ”

Souichiro grumbled and Sachiko placed a loving hand over his, “I think this would be a good experience for Light. It will give him Independence and teach him the responsibilities of living  on his own without him being far from us.”

The man couldn't argue with that. It wasn't like Light was moving away. He'd be right next door. Souichiro had to admit his son was exceptionally mature, as well. If anyone could handle moving out at sixteen it was his son. “Alright then,  Light. You can be roommates with L.”

_ Roommates, ha! He'd kill me if he really knew _ , Light thought.  L and Light exchanged glances and finished eating their dinner in glee. They would _ actually _ be living together. Light almost couldn't believe his father said yes. It was like a dream. He'd have L all to himself in the privacy of their own place. He wondered how L felt about spending entire days naked, doing nothing but each other. 

That night in bed, a completely naked Light rolled on top of a half naked L.  Kissing him, he said, “You should lose the pants.”

“I'm nervous,” L said. He wanted to be naked with Light, to feel every inch of that soft skin against him.  It made his heart race and his hands shake, however. Light was the only person he'd ever kissed, the only person he'd ever done anything with. L didn't really know much about sex or what to do.  Gay sex wasn't exactly in the curriculum to becoming a detective.

“Me too,”  Light smiled, toying with L's hair, “I've never been this intimate with someone before.”

“You haven't?” L was kind of surprised. Light seemed so confident, and way more experienced than him.

Light shook his head, “Nope.  You're the only person I've ever wanted. But I won't push you, L.  Leave your pants on, I just want to feel you.”

L wasn’t sure what that meant until Light lowered his crotch on top of L's and rocked his hips forward. L gasped at the sensation. The friction of Light’s hard cock rubbing against his was intense and amazing.  L dug his nails into Light's back and pushed his hips up against Light. He'd suddenly wished  he'd taken his pants off, but at the same time felt overwhelmingly shy about Light seeing him naked.  _ I'm going to have to get over that,  _ he thought.

Light stilled his motion and kissed L .  When he pulled away, L looked bothered, “I'll get off you,” he whispered, rolling onto the bed next to L. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“You didn't!” L reached out for him,  feeling silly but needing to explain, “I'm embarrassed to be seen naked by you.”

“Why? You've seen me naked,” Light stroked his face and smiled.  _ Still so innocent,  _ he thought.

“Your body is beautiful, perfect. If I looked like you I would never wear clothes again,” L said, “I don't look like that.”

Light laughed at the compliment, then quieted. “I refuse to believe you don't see how stunning you are. When I look at you, it's all I can do to keep my hands to myself.”

“I've noticed,” L giggled.

“One of these days you’re going to see how amazing you are.  If it's the last thing I do, L,  I'm going to make sure you feel good about yourself.” Light kissed his forehead and cradled L in his arms. 

In that moment, L started believing Light. It was a small belief, a seed. But it was planted firm within his heart, where it would grow and flourish under the tender care and love of Light.   



	8. Awkward Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L walks in on Light having a private moment. L smashes his foot in the door.

Move in day just so happened to arrive days before Light was to start his final year of high school.  It was a stress filled, nerve racking weekend, to say the least . Thankfully,  Souichiro helped with most of the heavy lifting and Sachiko and  Sayu helped unpack boxes, starting in the kitchen.

“ This is so beautiful!” Sachiko said as she took in the modern kitchen, running her hands along the black granite countertops flecked with silver.  I'm the center of the kitchen was a big island with a deep sink and endless drawers and cabinets for storage.  There was a wine fridge with a rack above it for additional storage , not that the boys were even old enough to use it .  The extra large refrigerator was placed across from the double convection oven. “L, do you even cook, dear?”

“No, but I'm willing to learn. I know Light can cook. Maybe he'll show me,” L said, turning to Light with a grin.

“Yeah, sure. Though, some of this stuff I'm not even sure how to use myself,” he said as he studied L's air fryer and instant pot. Light laughed to himself. It seemed his boyfriend had gone a little nuts ordering every new and interesting gadget he could find online.

After they organized the kitchen, they moved onto the bedrooms and bathrooms.  The most difficult part was moving in the furniture, but neither boy had much else to unpack besides clothing and books. It was a relatively quick process, and the house looked nicely put together by the end of the day. 

“I'm so proud of you two,” Sachiko said as she hugged them both, “We’re just a phone call away if you need us, you know.”

“We know,” Light gently smiled at his doting mother.

Light's family left and the two teens collapsed on the couch together in exhaustion. Moving was such a chore. Neither felt like cooking so L ordered delivery. Light said he didn't care what he ordered as long as it was food.  When he heard L ordering nothing but desserts, however, he interjected.

Light rested his head on L's lap, facing up. L mindlessly ran fingers through auburn hair.  “ That feels good,” Light said, closing his eyes. He smiled when he felt lips against his, a soft kiss from the only one he ever loved. Light opened his eyes and touched L's face, “I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” L smiled. Light didn't know it yet, but L had a plan.  He wanted to surprise Light his first day back to school by making sure he came home to a romantic night in. L had already ordered dozens of candles that should arrive the next day. He was ready, he felt, to take that next step with Light. Now that they truly had privacy, he felt more relaxed about it.  He wondered what it would feel like to have Light inside him for the first time, whether it would hurt. He trusted Light,  knowing he would never  hurt him on purpose. They’d talk about it beforehand, he was confident in that. The big thing would honestly  be that he was going to be completely naked before Light for the first time. Somehow, everything else seemed like cake by comparison.

“Food’s here!” Light announced at the sound of the door bell. He leapt off the couch and answered the door.

While Light was getting their food, L got up and decided to set the table. He was still thinking about that romantic night in,  considering what they might enjoy having on hand. Neither drank, mainly because they weren't old enough to, but maybe he could get sparkling cider and expensive chocolates.  L smiled at the thought, adding bubble bath to his mental notes as well.  Hopefully Light appreciated his effort.

Hungrily, both boys tore into the food, devouring the contents of the brown paper bags within minutes. Light cleared the table and took care of the dishes while L excused himself to shower before bed. As Light finished the dishes, he sighed to himself, sexually frustrated as hell. It would be_ amazing_ to be able to join L in the shower instead of jacking off alone in it when it was his turn. 

The temptation to walk in on L was strong . Just strip and barge into the shower and take him from behind. Light ached with the desire, but knew L was sensitive and would never forgive him if he were to do such a thing.

L was still in the shower when Light made it to the bedroom. He stood there staring at the bathroom door, considering. Did he have enough time to get off before L came out? _Fuck it, _Light thought with a shrug as he stripped down. He sat on the end of the bed, facing the bathroom door and took himself in hand. He stroked himself rigorously as he thought about L soaking wet and naked in the shower. “Oh, L, the things I would do to you,” he said between grit teeth as he clenched his eyes shut. He was so hard and swollen he was nearly purple, the tip weeping precome as he imagined fucking L senseless. 

Timing was never a strong suit of L's, so when he opened the bathroom door, towel around his hips, he froze in the doorway. He couldn't stop staring at the lewd, hot scene before him, Light climaxing with his head thrown back as he came in an arch above his stomach. When Light was finished, panting heavily, he tilted his head forward and opened his eyes. The two teens just stared at each other for a moment, Light still gripping his flaccid penis.

Stumbling backwards a bit, L scrambled for the door handle, trying to close it. “I'm sorry!” he said  as he slammed the door on his own foot , hopping and holding his injured foot as he screamed.

Light let himself go and began laughing. “Are you ok, L?”

“I'll live,” he winced and limped into the bedroom, defeated and embarrassed.

Light got up and grabbed a tissue to clean up his mess as he continued giggling at L.  Hoping L left him at least a little hot water, he started the shower and got in, leaving L in privacy to blush and dress. Despite the slightly embarrassing  encounter with L, Light felt much better now that he'd gotten his frustration out.

Once out of the shower, he noticed L wasn't curled up under the covers like he expected. “L? Are you ok?”

L was holding his foot as he sat on the bed, face pained. “I think it's broken, Light. It's swollen and bruised.”

“Ok, let me get dressed. I'll take you to the ER,” Light said as he opened the dresser drawers and pulled out sweat pants and a t-shirt.

“First night on our own and we wind up in the ER,” L said, amused. “Maybe we aren't ready to be on our own after all.”

“Oh, stop. Accidents happen. Now put your arms around me,” Light said as he leaned down  and scooped L up.

“Thank you, Light,” L said as Light carried him carefully out to the car. L hoped his foot wasn't really broken. Having a cast or boot would really put a damper on the romantic night he was planning.

“You're welcome, baby,” Light said as he kissed L.

Resting his head on Light's chest as he carried him, L thought about how much he loved being called _ baby _ by Light. He also thought about that insanely hot scene,  wishing he'd gotten to watch it from the beginning.  Foot not withstanding, he was utterly _ determined _ to have that romantic night in with Light now.


	9. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L gets to have his special night with Light, foot be damned!

The trip to the ER was pretty uneventful. Imaging didn't really show anything because of the swelling. After the tech wrapped it, L was given a heavy dose of pain medication and told to ice his foot. They left with a prescription for pain medication and a referral to a podiatrist. 

The ride home, however, was _ hilarious.  _ Pain medication seemed to really affect L.  “ Can I just say, Light, that you have a rather nice , uh, downstairs  mixup ?”

Light laughed so hard he nearly swerved off the road.  Recovering a little, all he could manage was an, “Oh yeah?”

“ Yeah,” L had a giant, stupid grin on his face as he continued, “I rather like it. Another thing, I really rather enjoyed your little show earlier.  I would love to see it again.”

_ He must be really fucked up to be talking like this,  _ Light thought.  As they pulled into the driveway, a look of awe came over L's face and he stared at the house until Light came around the car and opened his door.

“I can't believe we live here.  _ Together.”  _ L said as he reached up so Light could hoist him up. L had been given crutches, but Light was concerned about him balancing with them in his current state.

“I know, it's great,” Light said dismissively as he handed the crutches over, “Can you do this?”

L nodded and Light stepped out of the way as he swung the crutches forward and hopped towards the front door. Prepared to catch him if he fell, Light stayed by L's side, only leaving it to get the door. It was a slow process, but they eventually made it back in their bedroom, Light tucking L  in as he continued blabbing on about how amazing living together  and Light’s cock was . Light smiled;  high L was downright adorable.

“ Guess  it’s lucky for you that I sleep in the nude, then, isn't it?” Light said as he stripped down and climbed into bed.

L's eyes widened, “Oh, that's right! ”  L  d ucked his head under the covers and giggled.

“What are you doing?” Light asked, a laugh on his lips.

“ Admiring your physique,” came the slightly muffled reply from L. 

Light laughed and L peaked his head out from the covers.  His wide eyes looked so innocent and sweet as he said, “I want to put it in my mouth. Is that weird?”

Once Light regained control of his laughter, he wiped his eyes and sighed, “No, L, that's normal.  I want to do stuff like that to you too.”

“Really?” L seemed genuinely surprised .

“Yes really,”  _ and unless you want it to happen tonight we should probably change the subject.  _ Light didn't like the idea of taking advantage of L while he was drugged up. It seemed like a good way to get L to wake up the next day full of regret, and he didn't want that.  “ You should really get some sleep, L.”

“Yeah, that's a good idea,”  L said, silly grin plastered to his face. “Will you hold me?”

“Yes, I'll hold you,” Light replied, thoroughly amused by L's antics. It didn't take long for L to fall asleep on Light's chest, softly snoring as Light  ran his fingers through black hair. “I love you so much, L.  I hope you know that.” Light kissed L's forehead and fell asleep soon after.

***

Monday morning rolled around all too soon and Light tried to  rem ain quiet while he got ready for school. There was no sense in waking L up so early.  With a kiss to L's cheek, Light whispered, “I love you,” to which L groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers over his head. Light shook his head and walked out the door.

School was rather boring, as usual. First days were always the worst with going over every class syllabus and not doing anything _ real.  _ Light couldn't wait to graduate. Maybe college would provide an actual challenge for him.

“Thank you for leaving me snacks and water,” a text from L said, “I love you and I hope your first day of school is going well!” Smiling, he texted back that it was boring and asked how his foot was. “swollen and purple” was the reply.

L had managed to slowly limp about the room and set it up for that evening. Despite his painful and swollen foot, he was determined to make that night special. He sat on the edge of the bed and iced his foot as he pulled candles from their box and arranged them on the nightstand. More candles went on the desk, dresser, and shelf. Making his way into the bathroom, L placed the rest of the candles around the tub. _Perfect._

He knew Light would be home around 5pm, so at 4:30 he lit the candles and took some pain medicine for his foot. Undressing before the mirror, L sighed at his reflection. He hoped Light liked what he saw, because L certainly didn't. Pulling his fluffy bathrobe on, L started feeling a little drowsy from the medicine so he snuggled up on the bed. Not wanting to mess up the comforter, he laid on top of the freshly made bed and curled in on himself, promptly and _ accidentally _ falling asleep.

As predicted, Light walked through the door at 5pm, dropping his bag by the door. “L?” Light called out as he walked through the house. _Guess he stayed in bed all day. _The door to the bedroom was cracked and Light could see a soft glow emitting from it. Curious, he walked over and pushed the door open, his heart in his throat as he took in the sight before him. L was curled up on the bed, sound asleep, while the room glowed with the flicker of candle light all around. 

Walking over to L, he brushed his fingers through that beautiful dark hair and sighed. K stirred, yawning and dazed. When he realized he’d fallen asleep and ruined his own surprise for Light, he sat up abruptly. “ Welcome home,” he said, sheepish grin on his face.

“Thank you. What's all this?” Light knelt by the bed and asked, glancing around the room.

“I wanted tonight to be special,” L said,  “I wanted you to see me.”

“See you?”  Light didn't understand.

“Yes,” L said as he stood and began undoing his robe.

Light placed a hand over his, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” L said as he shrugged it off,  the robe landing on the floor with barely a sound.

Speechless, Light took a step back and took in L's naked form. It was stunning with the glow of the light flickering against his pale skin.  Finally, after a long pause, he spoke, “L,  you’re gorgeous. My God.” Lifting a hand, Light traced his fingers over L's chest, feeling himself growing hard at the sight before him. “Lay back,” he said as he stepped toward L, light pressure against his chest.

L swallowed nervously as he scooted back onto the bed and laid back. Light began to undress, crooked grin on his perfect face. He crawled over L and stopped, displeased with the  fearful look on L's face. Cradling L in his arms, he kissed him, “Baby, what's wrong?”

“I’m scared,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around Light.

“Don’t be. It’s me, and I love you. You trust  me right?” Light asked sweetly. L nodded, tearful and overwhelmed. Light toyed with L’s hair and kissed his lips again. “I’m going to make you feel good. If you want me to stop at any time, just say so and I’ll stop immediately.”

“Ok,” L said as Light kissed down his jaw and collar bone, making his way to his chest. His tongue lathed a nipple and L arched his back and took a sharp breath. “Oh shit!”

“Is that alright?” Light asked, looking up to see L’s face had relaxed.

“Oh, yes. Don’t stop,” he whimpered.

Light smiled and tongued the other nipple, eliciting a similar response from L. Dragging his tongue lower, L giggled when Light licked his belly button. By the time Light was face to face with L’s hard cock, L was trembling. L squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face with his hands. It was still difficult for him to be naked with Light, and now Light was hovering mere  _ inches  _ from his cock. “Remember L, you’re in control. I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to stop. I’m just embarrassed,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Nobody but me has ever seen my body before. I know it’s not impressive.”

“L, look at me,” Light sounded serious so L propped himself up on his elbows, “You  _ are  _ impressive, and in so many ways. Your body is exquisite, and I can’t wait to know you inside and out. I want my mouth on every inch of your skin. If you weren’t attractive, why would I want that?”

Light raised a very good point. L looked thoughtful a moment, unable to verbalize a meaningful response. Light pulled himself forward between L’s legs and kissed his mouth quickly before descending again. “Now, I’m going to suck your cock like I’ve been waiting to do for  _ years.” _

“Oh my!” L said as Light engulfed his entire cock and began sucking, bobbing his head and swirling his tongue. L did not lay back down, he wanted to watch. It was a wonderfully wet, sucking warmth that sent shivers through his body and made him feel light headed. He’d never experienced anything like it before and he didn’t want it to end. For a moment they locked eyes, L admiring the fire in Light’s stunning amber. He was so beautiful, a rarity among men, L thought.

Light popped off L’s throbbing erection, “Is the lube in the nightstand?”

“Yes,” L panted, “There’s several types. I didn’t know what to get.”

Light opened the drawer and pulled out a few different ones. One was flavored, one was a hybrid, one was supposedly orgasm enhancing. Light went with the hybrid. “Let me know if anything makes you uncomfortable,” Light said as he slicked his fingers. He went back to sucking as he began to probe a finger against L’s entrance, massaging the area before pressing a finger in. L sucked in a deep breath and curled his toes. When Light inserted a second finger, a shock surged through L and he came very suddenly in Light’s mouth, causing him to gag a bit before swallowing.

“I’m so sorry!” L shouted, utterly horrified.

“It’s ok,” Light said, wiping his mouth, “I guess I hit your prostate. I’m going to try again.” Light had a determined look on his face, but he wasn’t experienced enough to be consistent. “Maybe I’ll have better luck with my cock,” he said with an evil grin.

L gripped the sheets beneath him as Light lined himself up with L’s entrance. He pressed in slowly, just the tip, waiting for L to relax. He stroked L’s thigh with one hand and kissed the top of his bent knee, “It’s ok, baby. Breathe.”

_ You’re not the one about to be impaled,  _ L thought. Instead of saying anything, he just nodded and tried not to hold his breath. Light pushed in further, and L screamed, ”Ah! It fucking hurts! Oh, God it hurts so bad.”

Light pulled out and leaned over L, “I’m sorry. Are you hurt?”

“No. Try again. Can you go slower?”

“That was about as slow as I know how to go,” Light admitted, “I’ll try.”

This time Light added more lube to his cock before pushing into L. He didn’t go as deep this time, and waited for L to adjust. L was worried about feeling that searing pain again. Was something wrong? Did they not do it right? Maybe it was because he was a virgin? “Light, I think it’s going to hurt no matter what because it’s the first time. Hold my hand and just go slow. I can take it, ok?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you,” Light said as he laced his fingers through L’s and pushed their joined hands into the bedding. Light pushed in a little more, and L squeezed his hand and grimaced, but didn’t cry out. Light pulled back and pushed in again to the same spot a few times, hoping L would adjust. He seemed to be. Light went a little deeper and L squeezed his hand again, breathing out harshly. “Keep going?” Light asked. L nodded.

“It’s getting better,” L said.

Light leaned over L and kissed his sweaty forehead, “Guess what?” he whispered.

“What?”

“I’m all the way in,” he said as he kissed L.

“Are you really?” L felt such relief. Hopefully every time wasn’t as difficult as the first. Surely it would get better. It couldn’t be that the millions of people who enjoyed anal sex around the world were masochistic, right?

“Yes,” Light said with a gentle rock of his hips as he held L and kissed him again and again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” L said as Light continued his gentle rocking, slowly and eventually bringing himself to completion. Making love to Light wasn’t what L thought it would be. It was difficult and strenuous and messy. He was exhausted and sore by the end of it. But he felt somehow  _ changed. _ He and Light had taken a very big next step in their relationship, and he felt somehow closer to Light, like he knew him better, trusted him more, could live without him less.

Once they’d cleaned up in the bathroom, Light assisted L back to bed and held him until he fell asleep. Light got up and blew out all the candles. He had some homework to get ahead on and was pretty famished. He kissed L’s head before heading into the kitchen, “I’m going to marry you one day. You’ll see.”


	10. First Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L have their first fight

As the days progressed, Light dove into his studies and L's foot healed without complication. Watari sent L a list of cases to choose from that could not be solved. From that list, two piqued L's interest. After some deliberation, he settled on the more exciting serial killer case.

Light had never seen L work a case, so he didn't know how neurotic and downright manic L could get over one. Frustrated from spending almost every night alone and their newly discovered sex life going down the toilet as well, Light was a little irritable, to put it mildly. So, it shouldn't have shocked either of them that when Light came home exhausted from cram school to find the house utterly destroyed, he lost his mind. “You have got to be _fucking_ kidding me!” he yelled, face burning red with anger.

L peaked up from his laptop on the kitchen table, fingers stilling on the keys, “Excuse me?” He'd never heard Light swear at him before.

“Look at this place! You're home all _fucking_ day and you can't even clean a dish? I get up an extra hour before school every morning to do chores, L. It's 10pm. Are you _seriously_ planning to leave all this mess for me to clean up in the morning?”

L looked around. Things had gotten quite out of hand, but he hadn't noticed, really. The sink was piled with dishes, the trash over flowing, cake crumbs everywhere, juice spilled on the counter and dripping to the floor. L's laundry had been piling up and there was more in the bedroom.

“I'm sorry,” L said quietly, thumb pressed to his bottom lip as he surveyed the house. “I guess it got away from me.”

“Sorry doesn't cut it, L! I haven't even seen you in a week! We haven't slept in the same bed! We've had sex one time!” Light’s balled fists were hurled in the air dramatically as he carried on. Dropping his fists to his side, he lowered his voice, “I can't live like this. I'm going to bed.”

_What does he mean he can't live like this_? “Light!” L jumped up and ran to their bedroom, but the door was locked. He knocked softly.

“I need to be alone, L.”

It hurt, Light’s rejection. It hurt more than being sworn at. L returned to the living room and began picking up cups and dirty laundry. He wasn't used to this. Whenever he had a case, it consumed him entirely, and he didn't consider others because there was no one to consider.

“He still loves you, L. He still loves you,” L whispered to himself as he loaded the dishwasher. His feelings had never been so hurt and he struggled to keep it together through the chores.

“Of course I still love you,” Light’s voice said from behind. L turned to face him, quiet. Light approached and wrapped L in a hug, “I'm sorry I yelled at you.”

“Nobody has ever spoken to me that way before, Light. It scared me.”

“Really?” Light hadn't realized how much his anger had affected L. “I won't yell at you again. I promise. I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorry too,” L said into Light's shoulder.

“Hey, you know we're going to have fights, right? That it's perfectly normal?” Light patted L's head as he spoke.

L lifted his face from Light’s shoulder, “I had hoped we would be the exception,” he said.

“No, L. We're still human. We're going to get mad at each other. But I'll never stop loving you, ok?” Light kissed him sweetly, running his hands down L's back.

Light's words melted L. He would never stop loving Light either. “It's going to be a big adjustment for me to have someone in my life like you. Before, I could just work and not worry about anything because Watari took care of it. I can see how that clearly won't work anymore.” L smiled sheepishly. Watari had spoiled him.

“No, it won't,” Light pecked his forehead. “Why don't you start by getting a good night's sleep with me and we’ll clean together in the morning.”

L looked down right exhausted and Light was relieved when he accepted the idea. Hand in hand, they walked back to the bedroom. Once in bed, they were both too tired to do more than snuggle and kiss, but Light felt incredibly guilty about his outburst. “I was a real asshole to you tonight.”

“Yes, you were,” L said with a grin and Light tickled him under the covers in response.

“I'll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise,” Light said as he peppered L's face with kisses.

“How?”

“It's a surprise,” Light said. Honestly, L was really very easy to appease. Any number of bakery’s could get the job done. There was one on the way home from school that had a particularly delicious strawberry cake, according to L. Perhaps he’d swing by and get a piece. Maybe two to share.

It didn't take long for them both to give into sweet sleep. For the first time since taking the new case, L slept well. He always did sleep so much better with Light.

Steady as the sun did rise, Light’s 5am alarm went off. He didn't have the heart to wake a soundly sleeping L, so instead he kissed his ruffled hair and got up. Coffee first, chores second, love note for L third. “_Have a great day baby. I have cram school tonight so I'll be home late. There are leftovers in the fridge. I love you”_

Somehow, word had gotten out and spread throughout the school that Light had moved out of his parents house. Of course this sparked the spread of all kinds of rumors, from Light's parents being abusive so he ran away to him living with a much older man and being gay. At least that rumor was half true. Besides, with the actual material being taught boring as hell, at least these rumors were entertaining.

“So, how’s it feel to be the talk of the school?” Light’s friend Haruki asked over lunch.

Light had been daydreaming about his naked boyfriend again and blushed as his attention was pulled to reality. “Huh? Oh, it’s...it doesn’t bother me, honestly. People can think what they want.”

Haruki leaned forward and whispered, “So, what’s the truth? Like, what’s actually going on with you?”

Light sighed. Haruki had been a good friend since kindergarten, which is where they met. It made school life easier when you went through it with a friend. Haruki wasn’t anything special. He wasn’t brilliant or in special classes, he had no obvious talents or skills. He was about as average as they come. But he was a good person, and he could keep a secret. “This stays between us, ok?” Haruki nodded, “I moved in with my boyfriend.”

“Woah! Hold up! Now I have more questions,” the dark-haired kid said excitedly. “Is he older than you, then? Do I know him?” Haruki had always known Light was gay; that bit didn’t surprise him. In fact, Haruki knew it before Light did and had confronted him last year about dating girls and to be honest with himself.

“He’s our age. You don't know him,” Light smiled but glanced around to see if anyone was listening in.

“Why doesn't he go to school with you?”

“He’s already graduated. He's literally a genius,” Light said proudly.

“Damn. I want to meet him. What's his name?”

“Ryuzaki. You'll meet him, I'm sure.”

The lunch bell rang and the boys packed up their lunches and headed back to class. School was almost over and Light couldn't wait to get home. He considered skipping cram school and surprising L with that strawberry cake. The thought was so enticing that Light decided that was exactly what he'd do.

With two pieces of cake in tow, Light grinned ear to ear the whole way home. He hoped the house wasn't a mess, but even if it were, he was in a much better mood today. Man, do I hate cram school that much? Maybe he'd stop going every day like he had been. Maybe taking things down a notch and spending more time with L would help.

“L?” Light opened the door and noticed the house seemed unusually quiet. And clean! L hadn't messed up the house today. Once inside, Light realized L had fallen asleep on the stack of papers on the kitchen table. With a quiet chuckle to himself, Light walked over and ran his have through raven hair. “L! You're burning up, baby.”

L stirred, yawning and wiping the drool from his mouth, “What? Oh, hi Light.”

“Hey, I bought you a gift, but I don't know if you're up to eating it,” Light said, holding up the bakery bag.  
L perked up a bit as he accepted the bag and tore it open. The strong, sweet smell of strawberries, however, triggered his nausea and he flew to the bathroom to vomit.

“Here,” Light said softly as he entered the bathroom where L was hanging over the toilet and handed him a glass of water.

Looking up at Light with sad, pathetic eyes, L announced, “Light, I think I'm sick.”

“No shit?” he smirked. L laughed with him for a moment before returning to retching. Feeling sorry for his boyfriend, Light rested a hand on L's back, escorting him to bed when he was through. “I'll make you some Miso broth.”

“Thank you, Light,” L smiled as he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

With a kiss to the forehead, Light left L to rest and put the cake in the fridge. Straightening up L's messy stack of paper, Light read up on some of his investigation. _I wonder if he'll let me help him_? Light wondered. He had helped his father the year before with an investigation. It obviously wasn’t the same kind of crime, but Light was planning on going to college for criminal justice anyway. It would be good for him to get some real experience. “I'll talk to him when he's feeling better,” Light mused out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're approaching a pretty hard left turn here in the next few chapters. Anyone who knows my writing knows I don't usually do fluff. At least, not for long 😂. So, hold onto your seats, my friends!
> 
> I've been struggling with migraines this week so I'm struggling with updating and finding motivation to write. Updates may slow down, but shouldn't stop 😁
> 
> As always, your comments are coveted.


	11. Heritage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L learns a shocking truth about Light.

Feeling much better the next day because his fever broke, L decided to help himself to the cake Light bought for him. Sachiko came by to check on him while Light was at school per Light’s request. She found him at the kitchen table stuffing his face. _He seems fine to me, _she thought. “I brought you some soup. I'll just put it in the fridge.”

“Thank you very much,” he said between forkfuls. 

“How are things going with you two?” She asked as she sat across from him at the table.

He looked down at his cake then back to her, “We had our first fight . ”

“Oh?”

Setting down his fork, he looked up, “I-I'm not very good at this. At relationships. Light came home upset because the house was a mess and yelled at me. I guess I deserved it.”

Sachiko looked visibly upset, “You don't deserve that.  He didn't get physical with you, did he?”

“No, no. He just yelled.  It did scare me though ,” L had started twirling his fork now. He didn't want to tell her that Light swore at him.

She sighed heavily, “Unfortunately dear, he has his father's temper. Though, that's not an excuse.”

Souichiro didn't seem like a man with a temper to L. “Really?”

Smiling softly, Sachiko folded her hands on the table, “Souichiro is not his father, L. I left his real father when Light was 2 years old. He was very abusive to us both, and I was afraid…anyway,” she looked around, attempting to remain composed, “We didn't raise him to be this way, L. His father and I will talk with him. That behavior is not ok.” 

Once the shock of this new information subsided, L smiled, “Thank you,” he said as he reached across the table and took Sachiko's hand. “In the meantime, do you think you could help me catch up on my laundry?”

Sachiko laughed, “Of course.”

They both got up from the table and L placed his leftover cake in the fridge for later. Apparently his appetite hadn't fully returned yet because usually he could eat much more cake in one sitting. He followed Sachiko into the laundry room where she helped him sort, wash, dry, fold, and put everything away.  It took several hours, and during that time, L felt himself growing closer to Sachiko. She really was his mom too.

After she left, he laid back down, exhausted.  It wouldn't be until Light for home later that night that he woke back up. The sound of the front door shutting roused him, and he rubbed his eyes as he met Light in the living room. “How was your day?” 

“ Interesting. Had a rather awkward conversation with my parents about my _ behavior,”  _ he said as he dropped his bag by the door and walked over to L. “How are you feeling?”

L gulped. Light was _ not _ happy, “ Better. Light, I'm sorry.”

“I just don't appreciate you telling my parents _ our _ business. I thought we settled it? I apologized. I made it up to you. I won't do it again.”  Light’s fists were balled but he wasn't  y elling this time. “What more do you want from me?”

“Nothing more. I'm sorry. It won't happen again,” L said, afraid of Light’s anger escalating. 

Instead, Light embraced him lovingly, “I know Mom told you about _ him. _ ”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Light pulled away, “Because it's embarrassing.  Did she tell you he's serving a life sentence in prison for manslaughter?”

L was shocked, “No.”

“Yeah, he's a real piece of crap. I visited him once, a few years ago. It didn't go well,”  Light said.

“ Oh, Light, I'm sorry,” L reached up and held Light’s face in his hands and kissed him.

When the kiss ended, Light looked L in the eyes, “I am  _ not  _ my father. I would never hurt you, L. And I don't ever want you to be afraid of me.”

“Ok,” L said, kissing him again.  The kissing became heated when L pressed his tongue between Light's lips, asking for entry. Light moaned softly as he opened his mouth, pressing their bodies together and squeezing L's ass.

Parting for breath, “To the bedroom?”  Light asked.

“To the bedroom.” L panted.

They shuffled their way down the hall, clothing falling here and there, leaving a trail along the way. Light shoved L down onto the bed playfully and straddled him, devious smile on his face. This would be their second time having sex, and L actually seemed less nervous and more excited. After their first experience, they both took the time to do some research and wound up ordering a series of plugs to help better prepare L. They had yet to use them, however. Leaning over and reaching for the nightstand, Light opened their “sex drawer” and pulled out the smallest of the plugs and lube. Slicking it up, he kissed L before laying him all the way down on his back and scooting off the bed. He pushed L’s bent knees apart and pushed the tip of the plug against his entrance. “Is this ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just cold,” L said. He whimpered once it was pushed all the way in. Light toyed with it, pulling it in and out, and L twitched and shivered excitedly.

“Ready to go bigger?” Light asked.

L mumbled a breathy, “Yes,” and Light pulled the plug from him and replaced it with a slightly larger version. “Oh, God. I definitely feel the difference.”

“Sh, try to relax,” Light said as he stroked L’s hardened cock and kissed his abdomen. Playing with this one for a little longer than the last seemed necessary to Light, but L eventually relaxed. “Next one?”

L nodded, taking deep breaths as he waited. Light began pushing the new one in and L cried out in pain. Light stopped and waited for him, “It’s almost in, baby. Just one more push and it’s there.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he said, covering his face with one hand while the other clenched the sheets.

“Yes, you can. Let me pop it in and I’ll suck you off. You won’t even know it’s there.”

That sounded good to L, “Ok.” Light popped it in and there was brief pain and stretching followed by a heavy discomfort. All of this was eclipsed by the warm wet sucking feeling of Light’s mouth on his cock. “Oh, god, Light. I’m not  gonna last long like this.”

_ Good,  _ Light thought. He knew if L orgasmed, he’d have a much easier time when Light finally penetrated him. Light sucked hard and fast, hoping to bring L over the edge quickly. He’d been waiting what felt like an eternity to be back inside that perfect, tight body, and he was growing impatient. L’s moaning turned into outright screaming, and Light ramped up the intensity of his sucking until his mouth filled with come. He didn’t stop until he’d drank down every drop and L’s penis became flaccid and fell from his mouth. He reached up and kissed L’s mouth, and L wasn’t quite sure how he felt about the taste of his own come on Light’s mouth. “I’m going to fuck you now,” Light grinned wickedly, reaching for the plug.

L’s eyes widened as he panted, beads of sweat forming across his brow. Nodding, he gulped as Light pulled it from him, a momentary discomfort followed by relief. Light was quick to replace it with his cock, however, and it was thicker and longer than the plug had been. He tightened his grip on the sheets and winced. Light slid inside slowly. L felt loosened, yet still tight. The thrill of being inside L again was so intense that Light thought for a moment he might come right then. Closing his eyes and stilling, he breathed deep. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” L said, clutching onto Light’s thighs as he began pressing in and pulling out in a slow, methodical rhythm. Light leaned over and kissed L, wrapping his arms around him. It was much different this time. Still a little uncomfortable, still a slight sting from the stretch, but far more pleasurable than the first time for L.

Face nearly pressed against L’s, Light kissed his cheek, “I love you,” he said.

The moment overwhelmed L and he reached for Light’s hair, sliding his long fingers through it, “I love you too.”

“I want to be with you forever,” Light said, emotion overcoming him as tears sprang to his eyes. “Marry me when we’re old enough. Promise me you will.”

L smiled and wiped a tear from Light’s face, “I will. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you're enjoying this fic. It's been quiet lately and I'm getting the uh oh feeling.


	12. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L turns seventeen!

“L, hey L. Wake up,” Light nudged the snoring teen with his knee, hands currently full of a breakfast tray. L turned 17 today and Light wanted to celebrate right.

Head under a pillow, L gave him a groan and rolled away from the poke he felt in his side. With a heavy sigh, Light set the tray down on their dresser and crawled over L, kissing the back of his exposed neck. L wiggled beneath him, grinning under the pillow as he woke to Light’s gentle touches.

Finally turning over, sleepy grey eyes peaked out from under the pillow, smile still firmly in place. “Good morning, Light,” he said as Light began kissing up his neck until he found his lips. They both felt a growing arousal and Light pressed his groin into L's as his tongue swiped across L's closed lips. Parting for him, their tongues found each other as the kiss intensified and Light continued with his undulating hips against the growing lump beneath the covers. “Get your naked ass under these sheets!” L demanded.

Light obliged with a giggle, lips and hips parting just long enough for Light to crawl under the covers, relishing in the feeling of warm, soft flesh against his own. He reached one hand into L's hair as he resumed his opened mouth kiss while his other hand reached under the covers. With a firm squeeze, Light held their erections together as he fucked into his hand. L moaned into Light's mouth, a tingling sensation spreading through him, causing his toes to curl. “Oh, yes Light. Yes Light! Yes!” L could hardly contain his screaming as the ecstasy grew, his impending climax approaching quickly. He clenched his eyes shut and arched his back as he came into Light's hand, the warm goo covering it. Light smiled with smug satisfaction at L. He loved seeing his lover come hard like this. He continued fucking into his hand despite L's penis growing flaccid, finally ejaculating into his hand as well, panting and collapsing onto L.

“Happy birthday,” he mumbled into L's neck between heavy pants.

“Oh yeah, I forgot,” L smiled. He wasn't used to celebrating his birthday. Watari didn't believe in that sort of thing. But being here with Light, living his new life, he was excited for the new experience.

Light pushed off L and walked to the bathroom to clean up. Coming out with a wide smile on his stunning face, L took in his lovers beautiful naked body as he grabbed the breakfast tray and brought it to the bed. The tray had a fruit cup, orange juice, coffee, and waffles with chocolate chips, nuts, and whipped topping. “This looks amazing!” L said as he dug in.

“I'm glad you like it. When you're finished you can open your gifts,” Light said, sitting next to him on the bed.

Mouth full of waffle, he said, “You got me gifth?”

Laughing, Light replied, “Of course I did. It's your birthday!”

_This is awesome_, L thought excitedly as he ate. He'd have to do something special for Light's birthday too. He had until January to figure it out, but already he had a few ideas. Finished with the food, he pushed the tray aside. “Ok, I'm ready to open them!”

Light reached to the floor and brought a small gift bag onto the bed, and two neatly wrapped boxes. Handing him the bag first, it was obvious Light wanted him to open it first. Inside was a card with a sweet note that L read out loud, “I love you so much L. I can't wait to celebrate every birthday with you for the rest of our lives. I promise to make each one special because I'm forever thankful for the day that you were born.” L smiled over at Light before digging into the bag. Inside were several bags of candy and L laughed. The main gift, however, was a silver picture frame that said “Best friend's” with a photo of them at five years old hugging each other, smiling under the summer sun, dirt on their faces. On the bottom was a script that read, “I've loved you from the day we met, and every day after.”

Feeling emotional, L pressed the picture to his chest and closed his eyes. Squeezing them tight helped keep him from tearing up, but he still felt the familiar sting in his nose and the blood rush to his cheeks. “I love this, Light."

Leaning over to kiss L, Light said, “Good. Now open the other two.”

Opening his eyes, L grabbed one of the boxes. He blushed when he realized it was an assortment of sex toys. There was flavored lube, a dildo, cuffs, a fuzzy collar and leash and ball gag. There was also a plug with a remote control that boasted of incredible sexual pleasure. “This gift is more for the both of us,” Light explained, “I wanted us to explore some things, see what we like.”

“I'm honestly curious about most of it,” L said. He put the box aside and grabbed the last gift, unwrapping it. Inside this box was a beautiful dark grey scarf. “Oh wow, this is stunning.”

“I thought it would bring out your eyes,” Light said, wrapping it around his neck delicately. The material was soft and light. “I wasn't sure about buying you clothes. I know you're particular, but I would love to buy you more.”

“That's fine, as long as it's comfortable,” L knew he had no clue about style and if Light wanted to dress him, he'd definitely be looking sharp in no time.

“Maybe for Christmas I'll get you a few outfits,” Light said as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to L's.

“I'd like that,” he said, smiling into the kiss. Pulling away, he looked up at Light, mischief in his eyes, “We should try some of these toys out.”

“Maybe later, I have a whole day planned for us,” Light said, standing and taking the tray. “and it includes a homemade chocolate strawberry birthday cake.”

L threw the covers from himself and jumped out of the bed. Scrambling for pajama bottoms he said, “Why didn't you say something sooner?”

Light laughed as he carried the tray into the kitchen. “We’re having dinner with my parents tonight. You'll get to eat it then. They bought you gifts, by the way.”

“Really?” L didn't mind having to wait for cake. That desire was eclipsed by the tremendous love he felt for and from Light and his family. This was a birthday he'd surely never forget.

“Yes really. They see you as their second son, you know. But before we go over, I'm taking you somewhere. So shower and dress comfortable, ok?”

“Ok,” L couldn't wait to see what Light had planned and scurried back into the bedroom to undress and shower. He wanted Light to join him, but knew he'd get nothing done if that were to happen.

***

Turned out what Light had planned was a couples massage. L had never had a massage, but that didn't mean he didn't desperately need one. They were escorted to a dim room lit only by scented candles. The ambiance was so soothing and romantic. Two tables sat side by side and the boys stripped and slipped under the covers, holding hands across the gap between them.

When the massage therapists came back in, they smiled at the adorable teens. L's therapist focused on his neck and shoulders, which were a wreck thanks to his lifestyle which consisted of living on the computer, hunched over for hours at a time. Being used to being touched only by Light, L took a moment to relax into the unfamiliar feeling. He quickly decided massages would need to become a regular thing.

It wasn't until L's hand slipped from his grasp that Light realized he'd fallen asleep. _Oh wow, he must really be enjoying thi_s. Light was proud of himself for making the right call on L's birthday gifts. He had been nervous L would resist the toys and massage.

“Baby, wake up,” Light gently rocked L's sleeping body until he stirred. “the massage is over.”

“Huh?” L lifted his red face from the table and glanced around. Light stifled a Giggle at the smeared drool on L's adorable face. Wiping it as he sat up, L stretched and yawned before getting dressed in relaxed silence.

“I feel like a puddle,” L said as he sank comfortably into his seat on the ride to Light's parents house.

“Good,” Light said. “enjoying your birthday so far?”

“Immensely,” L said, reaching for Light's hand.  
Pulling into the driveway, they got out of the car to find Sayu waiting excitedly on the front steps for them. She waved and they waved back. Meeting them halfway between their car and the front door of the house, she hugged them both. “I'm so excited! Mom baked all kinds of sweets!”

L's mouth watered and eyes grew hearing that. He couldn't wait to see what kind of delicious things she’d prepared for them. He'd definitely be going home with a belly ache. They all walked in together, the air warm and inviting, smelling of baked goods and sugar and cinnamon.

They sat down to dinner first, L making sure to plow through it quickly to get to what he really wanted to eat. Clearing the plates, the chocolate strawberry cake was brought out, candles covering the top. Souichiro lit them and the family sang Happy birthday. L soaked up the moment, never having felt more happy or loved in his life.

The cake was delicious, and was accompanied by profiteroles, an assortment of cookies, Petit fours, and all other kinds of delicious treats. L did as he knew he would and ate himself into a stomach ache. Moving from the dining room, they gathered in the family room to open presents. Sachiko had knit him a hat and matching gloves. Souichiro had bought him very nice, expensive shoes designed for comfort to replace his ratty old ones. Sayu gave him a box of homemade chocolate.

“This is much more than I deserve,” he said, warmth in his heart for his family. “Thank you all so much.”

“Of course, dear,” Sachiko said with a pat to his hand. “How about hot cocoa?”

Everyone gave a resounding “Yes!” because Sachiko made the best hot cocoa. Light and L stepped outside to watch the stars while she prepared it. They'd done well pretending not to be together in front of Sayu and Souichiro, though it felt impossibly hard.

Light twined his fingers with L's and turned his face to him, “I hope you had a great birthday.”

“The best,” L said as he pressed his lips to Light's. He felt needy for his lover and hoped Light was up for a long night once they were home.

“Here's your hot co-,” Souichiro didn't finish his statement. Instead he stopped in front of the door, speechless as he watched the boys hastily pull apart and look down. “What the hell do you think you're doing?!”

“Dad, I can explain,” Light said, putting his hands out.

The door opened and Sachiko appeared, “Souichiro, stop.”

He turned to her, “You knew about this?”

She sighed, “Yes.”

“How long?” His outrage was growing.

She didn't want to say. _Years, my love_, she thought. How could she tell him now that they'd loved each other since they were eleven, possibly younger?

Light spoke up, bravely looking his father in the eye, “Since the day we met, dad. We've loved each other for twelve years.”

L took Light's hand and stood by him, but didn't meet Souichiro's gaze like Light had. He wanted to, he just couldn't. Souichiro breathed heavily, unsure of what to do or say. He felt betrayed, somehow. His son and his wife had kept this from him. He didn't know how he felt about homosexuality. It wasn't spoken of and was certainly not acceptable in society. He found himself feeling ashamed of his son, and he didn't like the way that felt. “Go, both of you.” He said before turning and walking back into the house.

Light burst into tears the moment they stepped through their front door. He'd never disappointed his father like that before. What a horrible feeling. L held him while he fell apart, wondering if his father would reject them completely now.


	13. Sweet November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light, L, Souichiro, and Sachiko finally patch things up. L is under the weather.

November brought colder weather to compliment the bitterness Light felt within. It was strange for him not to talk to his father everyday or see him several times a week. They'd always been pretty close, at least, as close as he felt he could possibly be with such a huge secret between them. The very thing he’d been hoping to avoid is exactly what happened. What did he think was going to happen anyway? Was he going to marry L in secret and never tell his father the truth? What if he and L decided to start a family? He couldn't hide that from his dad. Light felt like an idiot. Even if his dad had reacted poorly, he should’ve told him the truth. His father deserved that much.

“Dad, I'm gay.” Why were three little words so impossible to say? Yes, Souichiro was traditional and proud, but he was a good man who loved Light. He’d adopted Light when he was young so that they'd all share the same last name and he could avoid ridicule from the other children. Souichiro taught him how to ride a bike, and when he fell and scraped his knees, Souichiro cleaned him up and bought him ice cream.  
When Sayu came along, he never once acted like he loved her anymore or him any less. He treated them the same. When he needed help creating that ridiculous model of the solar system for a school project, Souichiro stayed up until midnight with him finishing it. He gave Light his first coffee when they worked their first case together. Even let Light try a beer over the summer.

Souichiro was his father. He'd always been his father. That other man rotting away in a prison cell would never be Light’s father. Light loved Souichiro and felt so disappointed in himself for letting his father down. There was nothing he wanted more than to go back in time and change the events that led to this moment. He'd give anything for Souichiro to pat him on the back and say he was proud of Light.

“Light?” L asked, knocking softly on their bedroom door. “You're going to be late for school.”

“I'm not going,” came the muffled reply. It seemed Light thought he could hide from the world if he covered himself in enough pillows and blankets.

“Oh, yes you are,” L felt adamant. He ripped the covers off Light and stood with his hands on his hips. “Get up. You're going.”

Light glared at him._ If looks could kill_, L thought. Undeterred, L grabbed him by the arm and gave a tug. Light pulled away from him. “Ok, I'm getting up.” He was definitely unhappy and L decided it would behoove him to back off a bit. Pissed off Light wasn't exactly his favorite version of Light.

“I'll make you coffee,” L said as he backed out of the bedroom door. He felt terrible about what had happened with Light’s father and didn't know what to do. This couldn't go on forever, he reasoned. They would eventually have to talk_. Maybe Sachiko has an idea._ L decided to shoot her a quick text, then pocket his phone as Light made his way into the kitchen. “Here,” L said as he handed Light the fresh cup of coffee.

“Thank you baby,” Light kissed his cheek and sipped his drink. He knew L was just trying to help him feel better, and he couldn't remain mad at him for that. L had actually done a good job trying to keep the house in order while working on his case as Light decided to fall into a depression and sulk about what happened with his dad. There was much to be grateful for when it came to L, and it wasn't lost on Light at all. The least he could do was pull himself from this pit of despair and try to move on.

With a quick kiss, Light was out the door and it wasn't a moment too soon because Sachiko was texting L back the moment the front door shut. She updated L on Souichiro, saying that he had worked through his anger at the situation and should be ready to talk to them both soon. She suggested dinner and he agreed. Now, to convince Light it was time to actually talk to his father instead of avoiding him…that would be the true test.

L spent the rest of the morning working on his case, falling asleep accidentally on the kitchen table where he worked at around noon. He'd been doing that a lot lately. Maybe it was stress. With Light down for the count, he'd had to exert himself more than usual and it was quite exhausting.

Around 4pm he began wrapping things up and made sure to do a few more chores before Light came home. He didn't have any after school activities, so he should be home around 5, L reasoned. But first, coffee. L sipped his last afternoon brew a little later than normal but it couldn't be helped; his nap didn't quite do it for him. The boost of caffeine and sugar helped him get through the late afternoon chores but L found himself dozing off once again on the couch before Light came home.

“Hey baby, are you ok?” Light asked as he sat by L and stroked his hair, gently waking him.

“Huh? Yeah, just tired.” L smiled as he remained curled up on the couch, enjoying the feel of Light’s fingers through his hair.

“You feel warm,” Light said. _Again. This isn't normal_.

“Really, I'm fine. I think I got hot from being on the couch.” L sat up and stretched. Turning to Light, he crawled in his lap and rested his head on his chest. He could've fallen back asleep right there, but he needed to pull himself together and ask about dinner. “How was school?”

“Boring.” Light kissed L's forehead. He still felt warm to the touch.

“Your mom invited us over for dinner to patch things up with your dad. Do you want to go?”

“I suppose we should,” Light said as he absentmindedly stroked L's hair. “Are you really up for it?”

“Yeah,” L lied. In truth he wanted to go to bed, but this was important. He'd push through.

They both freshened up and changed clothes before heading over to Light's parents house. Since it was right next door, they decided to just walk. They held hands on the way over, the moonlight leaving a pale glow against their skin. L's new scarf rustled in the breeze and he thought the night seemed beautiful. It pulled his mind off how nervous he felt about this dinner. Judging by the way Light squeezed his hand, Light was nervous too.

“No matter what happens with your dad, I'm here,” L said, giving Light’s hand a squeeze. Light simply smiled in response.

Sachiko answered the door with a hug for both boys. She was always so warm and inviting. Souichiro was sipping a whiskey at the dinner table, not yet looking up at his guests. “Where's Sayu?” Light asked.

“At a friend’s. We didn't think it appropriate for her to be here for this conversation. It's none of her business, and she doesn't know about you two yet. We thought it best for you to tell her.” Sachiko explained as she escorted them inside.

L and Light hung their coats on the rack by the door. Souichiro stood and met them halfway across the family room. He shook L's hand and hugged his son. Light wasn't expecting the embrace, and fell into it stiffly. “No matter what happens, I still love you, Light.” Souichiro said as he let Light go.

“I love you too, dad. I'm so sorry about everything,” he said, trying to hold himself together as the rising emotions cracked his voice. L squeezed his hand.

“Let's have a seat. Dinner is almost ready,” Souichiro said as he turned and walked back to the table. They all three sat, and Souichiro started the conversation, “I think the thing that hurts the most, Light, is that you thought you had to hide who you are from me. I thought we were closer than that. I thought you trusted me more than that.”

Sachiko appeared from the kitchen with a large roast that smelled delicious. Automatically, Souichiro began cutting it as she returned to the kitchen for the side dishes. Light took his opportunity to speak up, “I hate that I made you feel that way, dad. It wasn't my intention. I didn't want you to be disappointed in me. I've always tried to be the kind of son you could be proud of, and I was terrified if you knew the truth that you'd never look at me the same again.”

Souichiro dished out slices of beef onto the boys plates and sat back down. Sachiko returned with pickled vegetables and mashed potatoes. L smiled, it seemed they were having a very nontraditional meal, but definitely one he could appreciate.

With a sigh, Souichiro responded, “You’re right, I do see you differently. But I don't love you any less, Light. And I'm not disappointed that you're gay. I can accept that. I accept L. My hope is that moving forward, you realize you can be honest with me.”

Light nodded, his pounding heart finally beginning to slow a bit. L had held his hand under the table the entire time, but now that things were going well, he let go and they both began to eat. “I do realize that now, dad. I'm sorry this had to happen for me to understand that,” Light said.

Nodding, Souichiro swallowed his bite and continued, “Having said that, I am upset you deceived me concerning your intentions with moving in with L. Had I known the truth, I would've forbidden it.” Both Light and L looked at him with a shocked expression. “You are both far too young to have a relationship this serious. However, it’s too little too late at this point. I would like to know where you see this going. L?”

L gulped. He hadn't expected the question to be directed at him. Shakily, “I love your son very much, sir. It is my intention to marry him one day.”

Sachiko's eyes widened. She was a little surprised but more excited than anything. Souichiro kept a poker face but nodded. Light almost smiled as he gave L a sideways glance. Souichiro continued, “And after that? Do you plan to start a family?”

L blushed. He hadn't thought about it. Light stepped in, “We haven't discussed it, really. We both figured we had plenty of time to figure that out. I know I want children one day.”

L was surprised. He didn't know Light wanted kids. He felt stupid- he should've known that. L didn't say anything about the matter and thought it best to bring it up again in private.

“Light, I expect you to finish high school and college with the same exceptional marks you've always gotten,” Souichiro said sternly.

“Of course, dad,” Light said. There was no way his relationship with L would derail him. If anything, L helped him keep his focus and motivation.

“I'm glad everything is out in the open,” Souichiro said. Sachiko nodded in agreement. “ Moving forward I hope we continue to be open and honest with each other.”

Both boys nodded, feeling relieved even though Souichiro didn't approve of them living together so young. It was understandable. They were sixteen and seventeen, what did they know about life?

“You didn't eat much, dear,” Sachiko said to L. She'd noticed he picked at his food more than ate it. “Did you not like it?”

“Oh no, it’s delicious. I'm just not very hungry,” he said. In fact, he felt downright nauseated. Standing to clear his plate and bring it to the kitchen, L took about two steps forward before collapsing onto the floor. His plate shattered against the floor, and Sachiko, Light, and Souichiro all stood and shouted his name.

Light dove to the ground and pulled L into his lap, “He's unconscious! Call an ambulance!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying this story please say so 😁. It's very encouraging to hear from readers.


	14. We'll Get Through This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L wakes up in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far. So far, this story has been pretty fluffy. We're about to make a few pit stops in Angstville, but hopefully the angst won't totally overshadow the fluff.

L came to in a hospital room, IV in his arm, an exhausted Light sitting in a chair next to him, holding his hand. The memory of what had happened was a blur. They were eating dinner and the next thing he knew he was waking up here. “Light?” He mumbled, throat dry. Water would be excellent right now, he thought.

Light squeezed his hand and leaned over the bed, stroking his fingers through L's hair. A sad smile crept across his face. “Hey, do you know where you are?”

“Hospital,” L said as he nodded.

“You really had me scared, baby.” Light leaned up and kissed L's face tenderly.

“What's wrong with me?”

“They’re running tests now to see. You have a fever.” That was all Light knew for certain. Best case scenario was L had an infection and a heavy dose of antibiotics cured it. He couldn't bare to think of worst case.

“Can I have something to drink?” L asked. Light nodded and handed him a foam cup of water with a straw. L noticed he was shaking and weak, and needed both hands to hold it.

“Your blood sugar was really low too, L. Do you think you can eat something?” Light asked.

He just wasn’t hungry. L shook his head slowly as he drained the cup. It was the most satisfying drink of water he'd ever had. Light looked disappointed but didn't push the issue. Instead he took the empty cup when L offered it and set it down on the bedside table. “I'm going to let the nurse know you're awake, ok?”

As Light stood, L nodded and watched him walk out the door. All L could think about was going back to sleep. Was he exhausted from being sick? As he glanced around the room, he noticed it was daylight out his window. He must've been out all night long. How could he sleep all night and wake up tired? It wasn't worth worrying about, he decided.

Light returned a moment later followed by a nurse and a doctor. The nurse wore light blue scrubs and was young and seemed to have a sweet disposition. The doctor was young as well, and he smiled awkwardly at L as he looked over his chart. “I’m Dr. Hyde. I'm glad to see you're awake. We did some imaging and blood work while you were out. We found some swollen lymph nodes in your neck that we'd like to excise and biopsy.”

“Wait, what?” L struggled to process the information.

The doctor cleared his throat, “I suspect you may have lymphoma. You're a little young to have it, but it's most often seen in white males in their twenties.”  
“Cancer?” L's eyes widened as his body trembled. He couldn't hide his fear. Light grabbed his hand and squeezed it as he stroked his arm, attempting to soothe L.

“Yes. If it is lymphoma, it's highly treatable. The cure rate is between 80-90%.” The doctor had the slightest wisp of a smile on his face, voice ever gentle. He was trying to deliver the news kindly. “We will have to put you under to remove the lymph node in your neck. The nurse will bring you consent forms. Do you have any questions?”

“No,” L whispered, shock settling in his bones_. I have_ _cancer_?_ I'm only seventeen_. L locked eyes with Light and wondered if he'd he to grow old with him after all. He couldn't bare the thought. It was too painful.

The doctor politely excused himself and Light kissed L's shaking shoulder. “I'm here. I'll be here every step of the way.”

“I know you will,” L said, turning his head toward Light so their foreheads touched. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The biopsy would go well and would be followed by a bone marrow biopsy too. Light would pace the waiting room a frantic mess while his parents, sister, and eventually Watari came to support him. The old man would be staying in their guest room caring for L until he was well again, and Light couldn't have been more thankful for him.

Once L had recovered, they were told they'd be discharged and given a call with the results of everything in a few days. L couldn't wait to get home and rest in his own bed. He'd pretend everything was fine as long as Light was there to hold him close. In this moment he didn't know if it was cancer, which to him meant he didn't have it. Not yet. Not until the test results came in.

That night after Watari moved into his room and Light managed to get L to eat a sandwich, the boys clung to each other in their bed. Light found himself breathing in L's scent, memorizing every inch of his body just in case. The way his soft hair felt between his fingers, his lips felt against his, the way he tasted, Light soaked it all up, filed it away for later.

“We’ll get through this,” Light whispered between kisses. “We can do anything.”

“Yes, we will,” L agreed. “I'm going to live to see you become a grumpy old man who frets over his wrinkles.”

Light laughed quietly, “Exactly. I'll be deaf and you'll be blind but somehow we’ll make it work.”

“We're going to catch so many criminals together. Solve so many cases,” L was suddenly reminded of a topic of discussion he and Light had yet to broach. “Why didn't you tell me you wanted kids?”

Light blushed, “It never came up.” He held L closer to him, their naked limbs entangling.

“How many?”

Light shrugged. “Do you want kids?” He hoped so.

“I honestly never considered it. I thought I would be L and that would be it.” He became quiet for a moment before explaining further, “But yes. I want a family with you one day.”

They kissed deeply, passionately, sharing a moment neither would forget for the rest of their lives. “Once you're in the clear let's do it. It takes five years to be considered cured. We’ll be in our twenties by then. It's perfect.” Light seemingly had it all planned out.

“That sounds great,” L whispered, then yawned. He snuggled against Light's chest, falling asleep to the sound of his beating heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love feedback so please comment when you can!


	15. Bad News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L prepare for the worst

Twenty four hours later it was confirmed that L had stage 4 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The bone marrow biopsy confirmed it had spread to his bones. They were both devastated, consoled only by the fact that they had each other and the lavender-chamomile tea Watari made to help ease their stress. The three of them sat in the living room in silence for a while. L went over the next few weeks in his head; oncologist appointment, treatment plan, chemo start date. _This isn't happening to me_, he thought in shocked silence. _This happens to other people, not me._

Light had been holding his hand as he stared into his tea, tears silently dripping from his face. He couldn't take it anymore; couldn't hold it together. Setting his tea on the coffee table before him and covering his face with his hands, Light wept, shoulders heaving. L placed a comforting hand on his back and waited quietly for him to recover.

Watari watched on in devastated silence. He wished he could take their pain away. Take the cancer away. It was no secret that he'd wanted L to live in England and hoped he would have forgotten Light. With the way L's life was going, however, he was glad he had someone like Light by his side.

Wiping his eyes, Light looked at L, “I'm sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” L said with a crooked smile. Silly Light, sorry for caring. How preposterous.

“I'll make us lunch,” Watari announced, standing. He'd had about all the sitting around feeling sorry he could handle. The old man's mustache twitched as he made his way into the kitchen, and if L weren't mistaken, he thought perhaps the old man were trying not to cry.

Light would've normally offered to help, but he didn't have the energy. Everything felt so surreal to him. The last 48 hours had been the worst in his entire life, and he wasn't even the one who was sick. He looked at L as he watched Watari walk into the kitchen, wondering if he would lose L. There was no fathomable way he could live without L, he thought. The once bright future they were planning together was now a terrifying uncertainty. He closed his eyes.

“Hey, Light, it’ll be ok. Remember the doctor said the cure rate is super high,” L encouraged.

Opening his eyes, Light grabbed L’s hand, “How is it that you're the one comforting me?”

“I'm not going through this alone. It's happening to you too. You need to be comforted as much as I do,” L explained.

Watari returned with sandwiches, chips, and drinks for everyone. The boys thanked him and L forced himself to eat most of the food. Light appreciated his effort, and despite not having much of an appetite himself, slowly finished his lunch as well.  
Not much was said as they ate. The news still hung heavy in the air, and they were processing the information. Light cleared the plates while L announced he was going to lay down for a bit. Once Light was finished in the kitchen, Watari took over doing the remaining daily chores while Light joined L in the bedroom. He was already sound asleep, and while Light wasn't particularly tired, he didn't want to spend a single moment away from L if it could be helped.

Light undressed down to his boxers and climbed gingerly in the bed, careful not to wake his lover. Laying behind L, who was on his side, Light pressed his chest against L's back and tangled their legs together, arm wrapping over his waist. Light kissed the nape of his neck, breathing in that sweet, familiar smell. L moaned and adjusted his position, but remained asleep. “I love you so much,” Light whispered, “I'll love you forever.”

Light must've underestimated his own fatigue because he fell asleep relatively quickly. Outside, Watari tried to keep quiet as he dusted, swept and mopped. Finally he reclined with his pipe, having run out of things to occupy his worried mind. L was like a son to him, and somehow this diagnosis made Watari feel like a failure. This was out of his control, something he couldn't prevent and he couldn't take away, and he hated that feeling more than anything.

***

It wasn't long before L started a dose-dense cycle of chemotherapy. The treatment was aggressive, which was good, but the side effects were amplified because of this. L found himself vomiting a lot after treatment, sometimes during. His hair fell out in chunks. He didn't seem to mind. He asked Light to shave the rest off, and he did.

Light kissed the top of his bald head, “You look like a sad q-tip,” he joked.

L smirked, “Thanks.”

“Let's shop for hats online. Would that make you feel better?” Light asked as he cleaned up his clippings and put everything away.

“Yeah, I don't look good bald. Or without eye lashes. Or eye brows. I look like an alien,” L said as he stared in the mirror_. It's temporary, Lawliet. It'll grow back._

“You're my alien q-tip and I love you,” Light teased. He offered his hands as L rolled his eyes and pulled his boyfriend up from the chair and into an embrace. “I really do love you, L. So much,” he mumbled into L's neck.

“I love you too,” L said tiredly. Personally, he couldn't wait to get his energy back. It's not like he'd ever been the kind to bounce off the rails but this sleeping all day and night crap was for the birds.

They walked hand in hand into the living room to show Watari the new look. He stopped decorating the Christmas tree and gave the boys a chuckle. Tossing a Santa hat to L, he said, “Here, keep your head warm and in the Christmas spirit.”

L caught it and pulled it over his white, smooth head. “How do I look?”

“Like a regular saint Nick!” Light said with a smile. “Hey, are you up to visiting Mom and Dad's today? She's apparently baking all your favorite cookies and is demanding a taste test.”

L's face lit up as his eyes widened, “I could never say no to an official cookie taste test.”

The three bundled up and walked through the old tree line to Light's parents house. They already had their lights up and fake reindeer in the yard. Inside, the house was tastefully decorated and the smell of fresh, warm cookies filled the house. “Mom! We're here!” Light announced upon opening the door.

“I'm in the kitchen! Your dad and Sayu are at the store.” Sachiko's voice echoed through the home. She appeared before them, wiping her flour covered hands on her apron. She hugged both boys. “How are you feeling today, L?”

“Today is good so far,” he smiled.

She led them over to the dining room table where a wide array of cookies spread, covering every inch of the table. “Well, you have to try each kind and tell me which are your favorite.”

“I think I can do that,” L said, mouth watering. Light and Watari helped him, of course. Sachiko brought them all tall glasses of cold milk and L thought that despite cancer, this was going to be best Christmas ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for feedback! If you're enjoying this story, please let me know!


	16. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys celebrate Christmas

Christmas was beautiful and sweet, the boys exchanging several thoughtful gifts while enjoying Watari's famous Apple cider. The plan was to join Light’s family for dinner and more gift exchanges that evening. But first, a nap. It snowed while the boys slept, and when they woke, they excitedly dressed to go play outside. L sat snuggly in the new wooden sled Watari had gotten them for Christmas while Light pulled it. With a warm blanket wrapped around him and hot cocoa in his hands, L thought it didn't get much sweeter than this.

After chucking a few snowballs at Light’s back and then feigning innocence, the two wound up at Light’s parents house, where Sayu and Souichiro were having a snowball fight. “Help me take him down!” Sayu called.

Light left the sled and hid behind his dad's car to shelter him from the onslaught of snowballs as he tried to help his sister pelt their father. L sat in his sled, happy to watch the fun. Occasionally he’d toss the odd snowball at whoever was within his line of sight. L took no sides.

While it was great fun to watch the Yagami's run around and play, L sighed, hoping that next Christmas he'd be well enough to run around too. It sucked being weak and tired. He could've gotten up and run in theory, but he was quite certain he'd sleep for a week if he did that.

Light ran over to him to check on him, face flush and breath puffing in the cold air. “You ok? Want me to see if Mom will make you another hot cocoa?”

“That would be great,” L said, handing his mug over.  
Light had to dodge several snowballs on his run to the front door. L laughed and threw a few more himself. He finally ran out of reachable snow. _Oh_ _well_, he thought. He'd be content to just sit there and watch the fun. It was good to just be alive, he thought.

L promptly fell asleep on the Yagami’s couch a half hour later where Light had placed him. The fun activities of the day had thoroughly worn him out. As he slept, Light helped in the kitchen, “He's doing well with treatment, but of course I still worry about him.” Light said, answering a question his mom had asked.

“Is he eating? He looks so frail,” She asked, concern written all over her face.

“He tries. He still doesn't have a good appetite,” Light explained. “He’ll get better soon,” Light said with a hopeful smile. _He has to_, Light thought.

_I hope you're right_, Sachiko thought. She sighed heavily, “Go wake that sleepy boyfriend of yours. Dinner is almost ready.”

Light blushed. That was the first time either of his parents referred to L as his boyfriend. It was kind of nice having it all out in the open. The boys had sat down with Sayu soon after L's diagnosis and come clean to her about their relationship. She squealed with excitement, immediately accepting and loving the idea of them being together. “It just feels right,” she'd said, “like you're soul mates or something.”

_Soul mates_. Light liked the thought of that. He gently rocked L's shoulder. “Hey baby, time to get up. Dinner is ready.”

L groaned and and stretched and opened his eyes. With a sweet grin and half open silver eyes he looked up at his beautiful partner. Waking up with Light right there always made coming back to his difficult reality a little bit easier. “Hey,” he said with a yawn. “I'm getting up.”

Light leaned down and planted a kiss on his bald head before standing to help L up. Once standing, the temptation to wrap his arms around Light was too great, and they stood there in a loving embrace for a moment. L rested his head on Light's chest until the moment was broken by Sayu announcing, “Get a room!”

They laughed, kissed, and walked hand in hand to the dinner table. L would do his very best to eat just like he always did, despite having no desire for food. Despite feeling slightly nauseated for eating it.

After dinner they opened gifts. L and Light's personal favorite was from Sayu. She'd gotten them matching t-shirts with one saying “I'm with him” and the other saying “He's with me”. They adorably changed into their shirts immediately. Normally they would've stayed to marathon Christmas specials on TV while enjoying hot cocoa, but L needed to go home and rest. This had been a lot of activity for him, and while he greatly enjoyed it, he was done.

That night in bed, Light curled his arms around L and whispered, “I love you,” against his neck, causing goose bumps to raise along the pale flesh. Light missed his dark, crazy hair, but never mentioned it. It wouldn't do to have L feeling more insecure about things beyond his control. Besides, it would grow back one day.

There was no response from L because he was fast asleep, comfortable in his lovers arms. It was the only place he truly found any peace. It would take a minute for Light to fall asleep as he thought about the day they'd had and filed away the memories. He didn't want it to end. He didn't know if he'd have next year with L and if this was all he was getting he wanted to make it last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are y'all still with me?


	17. Things Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light finds the Death Note. We all know what that means. 😭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fluffy fic is taking an angsty turn, but hopefully it's not too relentless. I want to try and retain the sweetness of the story.

New Year's came and went like a blur and life resumed its normal pace of school for Light and treatment for L. Watari accompanied L while Light was at school. He might as well have skipped since he wasn’t paying any attention in class and instead spent his day worrying about L and checking in every chance he got.

While fretting over his boyfriend, Light was staring out the classroom window when he saw it. Falling from the sky in the middle of a sunny day was a notebook. It couldn't have been dropped from anywhere to land like it did. It was too far from the building. How bizarre, he thought.

After class he went to investigate, writing the “Death Note” off as an elaborate prank. _Just wait until L sees this! It's ridiculous._ It did cause him to stop and consider the evil in the world. He'd been privy to it more than the average kid growing up with a father in the police force. _Man, if this thing were real, the good it could do would be incomparable to anything else. It could eradicate evil from the world._

He read the rules and decided to test it out that night. He slipped cram school and instead went straight home. He found Watari preparing dinner and L fast asleep in their bed. With a kiss to his forehead, Light quietly shut the door and went to pick himself in the spare room. He often did his homework in there anyway, so it wasn't unusual. After studying the notebook for a while longer, he decided to turn on the TV and see what the news report had for the day. Breaking news of a hostage situation developing was the perfect way to test it out. Within 40 seconds, the guy was dead and they were reporting that it seemed he died of a heart attack.

Shock seized Light and the notebook clattered to the floor_. I just killed someone. Oh my God_. For some reason he really thought it wouldn't work. A part of him was hoping it wouldn't work. There was no way he could show it to L now. L wouldn't stand by his actions. He was a detective for God's sake. A sick feeling rose up, and Light bolted from the room to the hall bathroom and vomited.

“Light? Are you alright?” Watari asked, peaking into the hallway.

“I think I'm sick, Watari. I'm sorry, but I'll be skipping dinner tonight,” Light said before rinsing his mouth. He stared at his reflection, almost not recognizing the wild look in his own eyes. What the hell had he done? The man he killed was truly evil, threatening to kill children. Someone had to do something, right?  
Walking back into the room, he decided to hide the notebook. He had so many questions about it, like could he kill people in different ways? Could he control their actions? Could he delay death? If so, by how long? All of that would have to wait, however. He still felt sick and trembled as he sought to find comfort in the bed with L.

Sleep wouldn't come easy for him that night. Nightmares plagued him and by 3am he was wide awake. Deciding it was no use to try and continue sleeping, he got up and went to the kitchen to make coffee. After that, he pulled the notebook from its hiding place in the closet of the spare room.

That's when Ryuk introduced himself. Light stifled a scream, attempting to not wake up the others in the house. Shaking, he stood from his chair at the desk and looked at Ryuk. “Are you here to kill me?”

“No,” Ryuk laughed, thoroughly entertained by this Light Yagami character. “I'm attached to the notebook, so I go where it goes.”

Somewhat relieved, Light listened as Ryuk explained how dead and boring his Shinigammi world was. They discussed the notebook and Light’s intentions to use it for good. He dismissed the Shinigammi’s warning of peril that came to anyone who used it.   
With his newfound friend to help him out, Light decided it was a good time to begin testing the notebook. “I want to see how much control I really have,” he told Ryuk. He knew not to use it on anyone he knew personally, but by using it on criminals, he might hear of their deaths, but he doubted any details would be released to the public. He'd really need to think this through.

“Light-o, someone's coming,” Ryuk warned.

“Shit,” Light said as he crammed the notebook in a drawer and pulled out his homework from the night before.

“Light? What are you doing up so early?” a groggy sounding L asked as he pushed open the door.

“Hey baby,” Light greeted quietly as he turned his chair to face him. He knew L couldn't see the Shinigami. “I couldn't sleep so I decided to finish up my homework. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, but what else is new?” L said as he stopped between Light's legs.

Light ran his hands up and down L's arms lovingly as he stood there. Leaning down, L pressed a kiss to Light's forehead, then froze. Suddenly turning around, he bolted out the door and into the hall bathroom, where Light heard him retch into the toilet. It made him feel terrible for L.

Standing, he went to get a glass of water for L. “What’s wrong with him?” Ryuk asked, floating behind Light.

“Cancer,” he whispered as he filled the glass from the tap. Bringing it to L, he sat next to him on the floor and patted his back.

“Thanks,” L said as he took small sips. Light just smiled and rubbed that bald head.

After a few more retching and dry heaving sessions, Light escorted L back to bed with an emptied pale and a full glass of water. With a kiss to the forehead, Light tucked him in and turned to go, but L weakly clung to his fingers. “Stay. Please?”

Light sighed. He supposed learning about the notebook and the extent of its power could wait a little while longer. There was no resisting his hairless boyfriend. Climbing in bed behind L, he scooped him into his arms and kissed the back of his neck. “I love you,” Light said, wondering not for the first time when those words might be the last.

“Love you too,” an exhausted sounding L mumbled, falling back asleep so easily. Light envied that ability just a little bit.


	18. Life Is Short, Eat Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light turns 17!

As the weeks went by, Light discovered that he was known as Kira by the world, and that the police were catching on to his activities. This excited him. Nobody would ever figure him out, he figured. How many people would guess it was a magic notebook owned by a teenager of all preposterous things?

“Is everything ok?” L asked seemingly out of the blue one night. They were finally alone in their room, out of ear shot of Watari, getting ready for bed. “With us, I mean.”

Light just stared at L for a moment from his place in the bathroom. He'd just stepped out of the shower and was dripping wet, completely naked, and making L blush a little. “Why wouldn't it be?”

“I don't know. You just seem different. At first I thought maybe the stress of all this medical stuff was getting to you. But I'm not sure what it is. You've been quiet lately. Distant.” L sat on the bed, legs curled in and thumb pressed against his lip as he looked down at the floor. As he explained, he tried quietly to will his erection away at the sight of his gorgeous boyfriend. Now was not the time for hormones; he wanted to have a serious conversation.

Leaving the bathroom to go sit next to him on the bed, Light took L's hand, “I'm so sorry for making you feel that way. Yes, I'm stressed but no, nothing is wrong.”

They shared a kiss and for the first time in a while, L pressed for more. It seemed that hormones would win out this time. Happy to oblige, Light opened his mouth to the invading tongue. L reached for amber locks of hair as Light pushed him down onto the bed and crawled over him.

L shimmied out of his pajama bottoms, which were all he was wearing, and opened his legs for Light. Needy, large grey eyes begged him for sex like he never had before. Their mouths crashed together as Light pressed his body into L's, rocking his hips forward and back; their groins, stomach's, and chests pressed together.

Pulling himself up L's body, Light licked and nibbled at his ear lobe. L shivered and moaned, digging his finger nails into the soft flesh of Light’s back. “I love you,” Light whispered in his ear. Light knew he'd changed, that L was right. The Notebook had changed him. His work as Kira had changed him. L could never know that, however. Light still loved L as fiercely as he did when they were younger, but for the first time in their lives, there was a secret between them. 

Light sat up and rummaged around in the sheets for the lube. He knew it was lost somewhere in the sheets. Finding it, he prepped L slowly and tenderly, taking his sweet time to make sure L was comfortable. Chemo had changed L in a lot of ways too, and Light was worried his lover was going to die young. It was hard to have faith in a treatment plan that was making L so sick._ I'm going to find a way to save you,_ Light thought as they made love._ I won't let you die. I can't see you die_. Light's thoughts overwhelmed him and he broke down, unable to finish what he'd started.

“Light! What's wrong?” L reached up and stroked Light's arms.

“I'm sorry, I just got upset thinking about you,” Light wiped his eyes and pulled his now flaccid penis out of L. Laying down next to him on the bed, he pulled L against him, hugging him tight. “I'm so afraid you're going to die!”

“Oh, Light,” L rubbed his back and thought everybody dies, but kept that to himself. “Nobody can know the future, but I'm here right now, in this moment, with you.”

Light pulled away slightly so he could take in L's beautiful face. He would never love again once L was gone. That much he knew for certain. They kissed and continued holding each other until sleep came and took away the nightmare that had become their life, if only temporarily.

Morning brought better moods and renewed resolve from both teens. Light was determined to find a way to save L with the Death Note and L was determined to beat his cancer. They loved each other too much to let go without a fight.

Despite how much he hated lying, Light found himself lying to L regularly as he went to secretly test the notebook. The best way to see if it could be used to extend life, he figured, was to take it to the children's hospital. Pretending to be there to give the children in the cancer ward stuffed animals, he memorized many names and faces.

“They're going to die anyway, Ryuk. Either this doesn't work and they die of a heart attack or it does work and I can cure L,” Light explained to the Shinigami in private.

He wrote several kids names down and waited patiently to see what happened. Ryuk had told Light he'd never seen the notebook used that way, but was curious himself to see if it worked. It never would've occurred to him to try and lengthen someone’s life. “Rest assured that once I know I can save L, I'm going back to killing criminals. Kira isn't here to cure cancer.”

_How cold_, Ryuk thought, thoroughly amused. The days passed and Light began making weekly trips to the cancer ward, bringing gifts and friendly conversation to the children there. By the end of January, he knew he'd have his answer. He simply needed to wait.

***

“Happy birthday!” L announced one night as Light came home late again. L stood by their table with a chocolate cake and seventeen candles, excited because even though Watari helped a little, L actually baked Light a birthday cake himself.

Light had forgotten it was his birthday entirely and was genuinely surprised. With a huge smile, he dropped his bag by the door and walked over to L, wrapping him gently in his arms. “Babe, this looks great!”

“Good, now let's dig in!” L said with glee.

“Shouldn't we eat dinner first?”

“I think we can have one night where we eat cake for dinner, don't you?”

Light had to agree. Life was short, eat the cake. Watari started slicing it as soon as Light blew out his candles. Curious, L asked what he wished for. “You to get better,” Light replied, sincerity and love in his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like posting two chapters today. 🤷 Enjoy! And remember, I thrive on comments!


	19. Remission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L achieves remission but his happiness is clouded by learning a dark truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bitches be tripping and I'm drunk so here's a third chapter in one day. Yo hit me up! I like talking to yall.

The next few days were bliss as L found he was feeling a little bit better than usual. That came to an abrupt end when he became violently ill after his next treatment. With Light still at school, it was up to Watari to bring him to the ER. L tried calling and texting Light, but it seemed his phone was dead. He decided to call one of Light's buddies from cram school. Surely he'd get the message across.

“Hi Soto, it's L, Light’s boyfriend. Is he there? His phone is dead and I need to-“

“He hasn't been to cram school in weeks, L. I don't know where he is. But if I see him I'll tell him you called,” Soto said.

“Oh,” L was shocked and felt a different kind of sickness welling up inside. “How silly of me. I must've forgotten. Bye.”

Embarrassed and anxious, L tried to hold it together as Watari rushed him to the hospital. _He hasn't been for weeks_? L wondered if Light was cheating on him. Sex had kind of fallen to the wayside with L being sick and exhausted all the time. It was the only explanation he could think of. He vomited in the bucket he was holding in his lap, trying not to pass out. His head was pounding and he knew he was severely dehydrated.

Once in the ER he was given an IV and fluids were pumped into him along with anti nausea medication. Almost immediately he felt better, and when a nurse covered him in blankets, he promptly fell asleep. The ER doctor ran some tests and found L had an infection, so he was sick with that on top of being sick from chemo. It was a double dose of feeling crappy, but with some antibiotics, L would be good as new. Watari was relieved and thanked the doctor while L slept.

A frazzled Light made his way into the room roughly an hour after Watari and L had arrived. Watari had no idea about the outcome of L's phone call or that L was suspicious of Light’s unfaithfulness. He was glad to see Light. “How is he?” Light asked, worry on his face as well as in his voice.

“He's ok. He just has an infection and needs antibiotics,” Watari said.

“Oh thank God,” Light was so relieved as he stroked L's bangs from his face.

“Hey baby,” L said as he woke up, “How was cram school?"

“Boring.”

There it was, the bold faced lie. How could he lie to L so easily like that? He didn't blink or hesitate or seem the least bit bothered by it. L forced himself to smile. Forced himself to hold that hand and kiss those lying lips. L didn't know what was going on, but he felt incredibly betrayed.

The doctor would release L later that night with a prescription for oral antibiotics. L would sleep the next several days, waking only to eat and take his meds because Watari forced him or his bladder was about to explode. This made it easy for Light to continue in his charade while L was too sick to confront him. However, by the end of the week, L was feeling exceptionally better.

“Hey baby, I have my follow up with the oncologist tomorrow. Are you coming with me?” L asked, pretending everything was alright because he didn't know what else to do.

“Of course, wouldn't miss it,” Light was secretly excited for a different reason. His experiments with the cancer patients had gone extremely well. Light had written L's name down in the notebook, specifying that he'd die an old man painlessly in his sleep. He braced himself for it not to work, for L to die of a heart attack. When he didn't, Light knew it had worked and that L was cancer free. He'd saved him just like he promised.

On their way to L's appointment the next day, Light reached across the car and held L's trembling hands. “Something tells me we’re going to get good news today,” Light assured.

“I sure hope you're right,” L mumbled, lost in his thoughts and worry.

So beside himself with stress and anxiety was L that when the doctor said, “You're in remission,” L didn't hear him at first and didn't react. He had to ask the doctor to repeat himself. The words sink in slowly. He couldn't believe it. Light was right! They'd done it! They'd beaten cancer! For a moment L's fears about Light’s lies was eclipsed by his extreme happiness. He kissed Light without hesitation, as though nothing were wrong.

“We will have to celebrate,” Light suggested, and L nodded in agreement. There would be a seemingly endless supply of baked treats in the near future for L to enjoy.

That night, L didn't mind giving himself to Light. He was too happy, too excited about the news to refuse sex or make excuses. The next morning, however, he would feel ashamed of himself, as though he did something wrong. The feelings were confusing and conflicting. He loved Light and he wanted Light but simultaneously he felt repulsed by him.

Feeling a little better each day, L decided it was time to take on a new case. Watari brought the Kira case to him and explained how desperate the whole world was to find him. L looked over the file Watari provided, thinking over it carefully. It was honestly the most interesting case he'd ever come across. “I'll do it. Tell Interpol.”

For some reason, L instinctually kept his new case from Light. He wasn't sure why, just that he didn't feel he could trust him anymore. Eventually it would come out that L was on the case to the public, but for now, he didn't want anybody to know.

With a renewed sense of vigor, L decided to apply his detective skills to Light and followed him one day after school. Light went to a nearby park and took a path through the woods. There was an old, small building like a shed of some kind off the path a short way, and L silently watched from a distance with binoculars as Light went inside. He couldn't see or hear anything from where he was, but that was just fine. Once Light was gone L would bug the place.

L was kind of relieved to find that Light didn't meet anybody while he was out. He remained alone the entire time. So he's not cheating on me. Relief crashed over L but it was short lived. He was still lying. He was still up to something. L was the greatest detective in the world. Surely it was only a matter of time before he found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like crack. And I'm an addict. You my dealer. See where I be going with this?
> 
> I never claimed not to be trash.


	20. Busted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light has to figure a way around L's traps.

“Uh, Light-o I hate to tell you this but uh, this place has been bugged,” Ryuk said as he floated behind Light at the door to the secret shed where Light carried out all his Kira plans.

_Fuck_, Light thought. _What do I do?_ It was obviously L. Did he suspect him of being Kira? Was L even on the Kira case? L hadn't mentioned it if he was, which would be strange of him. Light wasn't sure what to do. If he stopped coming here it would tip off L that he knew. He could confront L directly, but wasn’t sure that was the right approach. How would he explain knowing about the bugs? The biggest problem this presented was that L knew he wasn't going to cram school. Did he continue dancing around the issue? Did he give a half true confession?

All he knew for sure is that he wasn't going in that shed. There wasn't anything incriminating in there anyway, and as far as L knew, Light may not have been planning on returning anyway. L would know it wasn't coincidence but he wouldn't be able to prove anything one way or another. “Nice try, babe,” Light said with a twisted smirk as he exited the park.

Figuring it was probably better to let L confront him, Light decided to pretend he didn't know anything was amiss. He'd go home and tell L he’d quit cram school. He'd get ahead of the problem, ease L's suspicions and see if he thought he was Kira or if this was something else.

“What are you doing home so early? Don't you have cram school?” L asked from the couch where he typed away on his laptop as he watched Light drop his bag by the door like he usually did.

“Well, to be honest, I quit going. I quit going a while ago,” Light said, walking over and sitting next to L.

“What?” L couldn't believe he just came out and said it. _What's his angle?_

“I'm sorry L. I know I lied to you. I hope you can forgive me. It all just became too much for me and I needed that time to just decompress. You were so sick and needed me to be so strong and I wasn’t. I wasn’t strong at all,” he said with conviction. “but you're better now, and I don't need to do it anymore.”

A little nervous, “What exactly were you doing?”

“Sometimes studying. Sometimes napping. Sometimes I would go to the park and get lost in the woods for a while,” Light lied so flawlessly, but did L buy it?

Without warning, L burst into tears. “I've known you were lying and I thought you were cheating on me!”

_So that's it!_ _He has no idea I'm Kira!_ Light laughed softly and pulled L to him. “Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I'll never lie to you again. I promise.” Light thought he should feel something. It should hurt to lie to L like this but he found it didn't. It was thrilling to get away with it.

“We should never keep secrets from each other. No matter how difficult the truth is, we should say it,” L felt the pang of heart ache as he lied to Light. Despite the confession, something still didn't seem right to him. Light comes home and confesses to his transgressions the day he put bugs in that shed? Unlikely. Light also conveniently left out how he'd hang out inside that shed for hours. No, Light wasn't telling the whole truth either. He was still lying.

The best thing for L to do was to pretend everything was alright. Pretend he was relieved and understood. If Light let down his guard, L could keep a close eye on him and Light would be none the wiser.

They went about their normal routine of dinner with Watari, who was planning on leaving soon now that L was better. They would miss him, he had been a huge help. They were also ready for privacy and hot sex in other places besides their bedroom.

That night, as Light fucked L, it was different. There were still secrets between them and they both knew it. They locked eyes, but there was a coldness there that had never been present before, a distance. Both felt it but neither said a word, pretending with flawless conviction that everything was alright, that the love between them wasn’t tainted.

L was almost relieved when Light finally climaxed inside him. He just wanted Light to get off him and let him sleep. He knew something was broken in their relationship, and wondered if it would ever be put back together again. As he rolled onto his side and Light wrapped his arms around him, kissing the new hair sprouting at the base of his head, L was glad Light couldn't see him cry.

Waking at 4am with a start, L got up without waking Light. Heart broken that it had come to this, he found himself by the front door rummaging through Light's bag. He didn't find anything, however. Just school work, notes, pens. L moved his search to the spare room Light sometimes used to study in. He searched every drawer in the desk, every box in the closet, finding nothing. Ready to give up, L turned and stepped on a loose floorboard. _Huh?_ It was unusual that any of the boards would be loose. These floors were brand new. Getting on his knees, L felt around the floor until he found the edge where he could pry the board open with his fingers. Just before he could look inside, he heard something. Afraid it was Light, he scrambled to put the wood back like it was and walked to the bedroom door and peeked out. Watari was just using the hall bathroom. Sighing with relief, L waited until the old man went back to bed before he tried prying the floorboard open again.


	21. Dying Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L learns the truth about Light

He wanted to run away, scream, _something_. This couldn't be his life, could it? Could this really be? L zipped up his winter coat, pulled a hat over his fuzzy head, and stepped into the frigid early morning air. Maybe a walk would clear his mind. The sun wouldn't be up for a couple hours yet, and that meant neither would Light. His warm tears turned cold against his cheeks as his breath puffed in the cold air. Why? Why was this happening?

Light had murdered _thousands_ of people. He saved a few, including L, and he couldn't just dismiss that. But L had a job to do, a duty to the people. Kira had to be stopped and L knew how to stop him. Each step felt like it took all his effort as he walked the quiet street. L thought about how they played on this street as children, how innocent they were. Their love was so pure then. Could he go back to that?

Stopping in front of the Yagami home, he drew in a shuddering breath. They had raised both their children with so much love. How could Light have turned out like this? _Souichiro isn't his real father_. It seems that Light couldn't escape his nature after all. He was just like his biological dad. No, Light was worse.

“This hurts so much. Why would you do this to me?” L asked the moon and the stars. Light would die if he turned him in. But L knew he couldn't be complicit in this. _What do I do? I love him. I love him so much and I'm going to lose him._

Finding inner strength, L turned around and went back home. When this was over, he'd sell the house. He wasn't sure where he'd go but he knew he couldn't stay here. How could he? The memories would haunt him. And how could he live next door to Light's parents after handing him over to be executed? He couldn't. All his dreams shattered before him and L wished for the first time that he'd died of cancer believing Light was innocent and in love with him. That would've been so much better than this.

L was on his fifth cup of coffee, jittery with caffeine when Light appeared behind him. Hugging his neck and kissing the top of his head, Light asked, “How long have you been awake?”

“I don't even know. Couldn't sleep,” L said. He didn't look up from his computer, he didn't hug or kiss Light back. He just kept typing away at the table while Light poured himself a cup of coffee.

Sitting next to L at the table, he peered over at his laptop. “What are you working on?”

“Didn't I tell you? I took on the Kira investigation,” L smiled brightly at Light. _Let's see how he takes that news._

Light tried to hide his shock and to anyone who didn't know him as intimately as L did, he would’ve seemed fine. But L knew better. _Gotcha_. Light swallowed his sip of coffee, “That's great! Do you want any help with it?”

Kira helping with his own investigation? How cute. “Sure.”

“Watari leaves today. Are you going to survive without him?” Light teased, changing the subject.

L rolled his eyes, “Surely I'll die.”

“You haven't been alone in the house in a long time. I'm just making sure,” Light explained, “I'll leave you something for lunch in the fridge. Text me if you need me. I love you.”

“I love you too,” L said. He meant it, but it hurt. Light stood and kissed L and walked to the door, grabbing his bag. As L watched him go, he felt like it was the last time he'd see Light. Maybe it would be. L had everything he needed to convict Light. All he had to do now was turn it over. So what was stopping him?  
_He's my best friend. I can't do this_. His thoughts were temporarily derailed when Watari walked up with packed bags to say goodbye. _You were so right about everything Watari. I should've stayed away_.

“Don't hesitate to call me anytime you need help, L,” Watari said as he hugged L. It was something the old man rarely did, so L cherished it.

“I won't. I love you, Watari,” L said.

“I love you too L.”

After he'd gone, L agonized for hours over what to do. He sobbed over the sandwich Light had left for him in the fridge. It was thoughtful. Light was always so thoughtful. Sometimes he even surprised L with cake from his favorite bakery.

L wound up falling asleep face down on his keyboard. In his dream he and Light were standing on opposite sides of a jail cell. Light was crying, holding the bars and saying something, but L couldn't hear him. He tried calling to Light when something started pulling him away. It was Watari. He had a rope around L's neck and was dragging him away. L struggled but it was no use. Somehow, he knew Light was dead. The dragging stopped and he stood, finding himself alone on the edge of a precipice. Light's bloody body was at the bottom. That's when he woke with a start to the letter K repeating about a thousand times. It struck him as ironic as he deleted the letters.

One more cup of coffee, one more stretch, one more cookie. Anything to delay the inevitable. Finally, emotions exhausted and body shaking, L hit the send button on his email. Immediately he regretted his decision. _What have I done?_ He'd betrayed the only person who ever really truly loved him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to go ahead and post the last few chapters to get it completed so I can focus all of my attention on "Stay With Me". I'm sure you won't object 😉


	22. Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L devises a plan to save Light.

Light walked through the front door of their home after school to find L standing just a few feet away with a packed duffle bag on the floor beside him. Confused for a moment, Light just stood there. “Are you leaving me?” Light finally found the words to ask.

“No, you're leaving me,” L said flatly.

“I don't understand.”

“I know everything. I know you’re Kira. I know about Ryuk.”

The shock of L's admission left Light’s head spinning. There was no reason to lie anymore. No reason to maintain the façade. “Aren’t you turning me in?”

“Yes. Which is why you have to run. They’re coming for you, Light.” L picked up the duffle bag and handed it to Light. “Meet me in a weeks time at the address on the paper I left inside the bag. There's plenty of cash to get you through.”

“Why are you helping me?” A bewildered and upset Light asked.

“Because I love you,” L answered softly.

Dropping the bag, Light threw his arms around L and squeezed him tight, kissing him fiercely. “I love you too. I'm so sorry this happened.”

He seemed sincere, and L felt angry for the decisions Light had made that led them here. “You need to go before it's too late.”

Understanding the seriousness of the situation, Light let L go and grabbed the bag, dashing out of the house. L sank to his knees. This was it. It was over.

Light caught the first train out of town. He didn't care where it went. L had packed him black hair dye and brown contact lenses. While on the train, he pulled a hat out of the bag and pulled it over his hair, hiding his face. There was an oversized hoodie inside as well, and Light pulled off his school uniform blazer and tie, stuffing them inside and pulling on the hoodie.

When he finally got off the train, he booked a room in the first motel he could find. The place was awful, but he didn't care. He just needed it to get his hair dyed and put the contacts in. With any luck, he'd look like any other Asian kid walking around.

It was difficult for him to sleep that first night. He kept thinking the police were going to bust down his door any moment. Surely they could track him through the security footage at the train station. It would take a while, but he knew if he stayed there he'd be caught. He knew he needed to change bags too, and decided to purchase a black bookbag and fit as much stuff in it as possible. It didn't have the capacity the duffle did, but it would have to do.

***

L called his contact with Interpol once he'd regained composure. “I think he's been tipped off. He's gone. No, of course I don't know where he is.” L hung up before the man on the other end could even reply. Of course, L smiled to himself because he made sure to wait a few hours after Light left before calling. _He’ll get away. He's too smart not to._

L texted Aiber next through his encrypted app to see how long it would take to get the items he'd requested. Even with bribery, it would take five days. _Ugh_. L guessed there was no sense in getting in a rush. If Light managed to stay ahead of the police, he wouldn't see him for 7 days anyway.

None of this felt good, and L didn't want to be the one to tell Light’s family, but he’d have to. With a sigh, he pulled his coat on and headed next door. This would be the most difficult conversation he'd ever had.

***

Light had successfully evaded the police for six days now by moving to a motel in a different city every night. Tonight he was staying in Tokyo, close to the address L gave him. He missed L terribly. Sitting in a small Café drinking coffee, he waited for his breakfast to be served. He wondered how much of a risk it would be to buy a burner phone. If he could just hear L's voice again, maybe the world would make sense.

He thought back to Christmas, when L was sick. He'd been so terrified that L was going to die that he didn't even realize he was losing him anyway through the decisions he was making. It was hard not to hate being Kira. If only he had a time machine, he'd go back and tell himself not to pick it up. He'd have a little faith that treatment would work instead of taking matters into his own hands. If he could just go back.

The long, boring day ended and Light tried to will himself to sleep. The thought of seeing L again was so exciting that it was difficult for him to contain himself. For a moment he wondered how his parents and sister were doing. It pained him to know he'd never see them again. He hoped they somehow knew how sorry he was. Maybe L would be willing to deliver a letter to them. It didn't hurt to ask. Unable to sleep, Light got out of bed and sat at the tiny desk in his room. Pulling out paper and a pen, he began writing. He'd write everyone a letter, starting with L.

“L,

If I could go back and change things, I would. I naively believed I was helping you, helping the world. But I was doing no such thing. I know I've hurt you deeply, and I cannot express how sorry I am. I would do anything to stay with you. We belong together, and I'll never stop believing that.

With all my love, Light”


	23. Meet Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day comes for their meeting

With little to no appetite or motivation, L pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes. Talking with the Yagami's went about as well as he thought it would, complete with crying, denial, and accusations against him. They didn't mean it, he knew. They were shocked and upset; their reaction was understandable.

L's stomach grumbled its hungry protest but he couldn't bring himself to eat anything. Being away from Light was almost too much to bear. Even though he was still angry with him and hated Kira for what he did, L still loved and missed Light. He always would. He’ll be here soon, he assured himself. But what if he doesn't show? The fear gripped him like a vice around his heart. He couldn't breathe. Panicked, he threw the covers off and sat up, breathing hard. _He'll come. He'll come. He has to._

Attempting to satiate his angry belly, L opened the fridge in the hotel room kitchen but found the sight of the food within nauseated him. With a sigh, he closed the door and turned on the TV for some distraction. The news was reporting on Kira. Of course they were. They posted a picture of Light and a number to call if he was seen. People were warned to not approach him as he was considered armed and extremely dangerous. _Damn Light. Are you watching this?_ L thought it was over kill to claim Light was armed and dangerous. Then again, even L didn't know what he'd do if cornered. L began to wonder if he knew Light at all.

Clearly, this particular distraction wasn’t working. Turning the TV off, L decided maybe a bath would help soothe him. He noticed different salts in the bathroom earlier. Passing by the kitchen on his way to the bathroom, he noticed the toaster. He chuckled to himself. _I'm not that desperate. Yet._

The bath was certainly helpful. And the lavender bath salts were a nice added benefit. It reminded him of the times he and Light bathed together, which reminded him of all the times they made love, which made him think of that toaster again. _Life just isn't worth living without you._

Eventually the water cooled and his skin pruned and it was time to get out. Feeling more relaxed than he had in days, L laid down in the bed, naked and damp, and fell asleep. He dreamed better dreams than the nightmares he had before. He dreamed he and Light were happy, walking hand in hand down a beach somewhere. As the sun set, Light kissed him, holding him close when he felt a chill. It was the perfect dream.

When he awoke, he laid face up for a moment, remembering the sweet dream he'd just had. It was so much better than this bitter reality. Looking at the clock, L felt nervous. Light would be arriving soon. Jumping out of the bed, he tossed on some clothes and checked his appearance in the mirror. He sighed as he rubbed his fuzzy head. His hair was growing back quickly, which was good. It would probably take a year to get it back to the length it was, however.

Turning away from the mirror, he stepped into the foyer and paced the room, waiting for Light to arrive. Time seemed to pass painfully slow. Unable to keep his eyes off the clock, L counted down the minutes. _My note said come at 6pm. I kind of hope he's early._ L smiled. Would Light be as happy to see him as he would be to see Light?

6pm hit and L found himself staring a hole through the door. Every noise made him jolt, no matter how quiet. He even went so far as to open the door and peer down both ends of the long hallway. Silence. Not even another guest was out there. Deflated, L closed the door and sulked over to the couch, sitting in the middle of it. Glancing at the clock, he thought _it's only seven minutes past 6. Maybe he was held up._

No amount of excuse making would make him feel any better, however. At ten after, he wondered if he'd get in trouble for getting drunk. His room had a fully stocked mini bar. He'd never even tasted alcohol before, so he dismissed that idea quickly.

At fifteen minutes after 6pm, there was a soft knock at his door. L leapt off the couch, heart pounding in his ears, and raced over to the door, swinging it open without bothering to check who it was. Two very startled women gasped and grabbed onto their cart. “House keeping, sir?” One asked with a thick accent.

“Oh, no thank you,” L said, disappointed, “Can you come back later?”

“Yes, we come back later,” she smiled as she nodded and the two walked over to the next room.

L was closing the door, revisiting the alcohol idea when he felt the door suddenly resist him. “What?” L turned around, confused, finding himself face to face with a black haired, dark eyed Light Yagami.

Holding the door, he smiled brightly, “Sorry I'm late.”

“No worries,” L nearly whispered his reply, he was so struck by the way Light looked. “Get in here.”

Light gave way when L grabbed his arm and pulled him into the suite and closed the door. “What do you think of my disguise?”

“I like it,” L smirked, walking over to him and running his fingers through shiny black hair.

Light kissed him, grabbing his sides and pulling his body to him forcefully. L gasped, his body reacting strongly after being deprived of Light’s touch for a week. Taking advantage of L's open mouth, Light invaded him with his tongue, pressing, searching for more.

Pulling away, L caught his breath, “Bedroom.”  
Light nodded and turned, both boys shedding clothing as they went. L grabbed the lube from his still packed suitcase on the floor and tossed it to Light as he climbed into the bed. L crawled on top of him and they fell back onto the bed as they kissed, hands searching over every inch of skin. “I missed you so much,” Light mumbled onto L's lips, giving the pouty bottom one a bite.

“I missed you too,” L whispered as his hands held Light’s head as his tongue explored that needy mouth. “I need you,” he moaned.

“Get on your knees,” Light said, giving L a slight push off of him.

L did, and it wasn't long before two lubed fingers were probing his prostate, causing him to cry out as he grasped the sheets beneath him. Soon Light replaced his fingers with his cock, and L felt like it was the first time all over again. The pain of the first time wasn’t there, but the desire and passion was. Light slammed into him, and L had to brace hard against the bed to keep from falling onto his face.   
“Stop. Stop!” L managed to screech out over the sound their bodies and the bed made.

Light's hips came to a halt, “What's wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No. I just- I want to see you,” L confessed.

Light pulled out and L laid on his back. Cradling his lover, Light pushed back inside as he kissed those sweet lips. “Better?”

“Better,” L smiled wistfully, running fingers through foreign dark hair. He was glad Light took out the contacts before they started. He loved those shining eyes and didn't want to feel like he was staring at a stranger.

They rocked together seamlessly, like they belonged together, like they'd done this a thousand times and would do it a thousand more. But that wasn't true, and as they clung to each other in desperation, they knew that simple truth would plague them yet.

L broke first, his love for Light overwhelmed by the knowledge that he would have to go. “Sh, don't cry, baby. It's ok. I'm right here,” Light soothed as he stroked short black hair. Even as he said it, his own tears stained his cheeks. They both sobbed into each other's mouths, onto each other's shoulders, staining each other's skin as they climaxed. They would lay there, a tangle of limbs, weeping for the unfairness of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. So sad! 😭


	24. The Greatest Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L can't move on.

They both laid in the after glow, fingers tracing sharp lines and soft curves, memorizing one another. “What if I give it up?” Light asked, becoming tearful again, knowing it was futile to try.

“It's too late. I'm so sorry,” L sounded so apologetic as he squeezed his laced fingers with Light’s. “I turned everything over to Interpol. They'll come for you no matter what.”

“Run away with me, L.” He whispered it, but L heard the plea for what it was. _Don’t leave me. Please._

“You know I can’t do that,” L looked down at their joined hands. “I want to. _God_ I want to.”

Light sighed heavily, “I'm sorry I did this to us,” he said as he kissed L on the forehead and brushed fingers gently over fuzzy hair.

“It was both of us. If I hadn't turned you in and instead just talked to you about it maybe things would have gone differently,” L imagined a world where Light gave it up and after a few years of nothing from Kira, he closes the case and declares he must be dead.

“It’s too late for what if's. All we have is now,” Light whispered with a needy kiss to L's lips. He moved his hands lower, ready for a round two. L pushed his hips into those kneading fingertips as he gasped at what was to come. Taking advantage of the invitation, Light surged his tongue inside that warm, wet mouth.

There were no more tears this time when they made love. There was simply the realization that there were no secrets between them for the first time in a long time and that they'd love each other no matter what. There was nothing they wouldn't do for each other. Even though it was too late, Light realized he could bring anything to L. He could've brought the truth about Kira to L and he wouldn't have loved him any less. They could've figured out what to do together. Instead he allowed fear and lies to poison everything. There was no offering he could make to atone for that, but L forgave him anyway.

Light hoped L felt how much he loved him as he gave of his body like he never had before. He was L's forever, and he hoped that truth shined through with the way he loved his body. They were broken, but together, and Light thought that maybe that's all one can hope for in love.

Afterward, L crawled onto Light's chest and laid there, exhausted. His stomach growled hungrily and Light laughed. “Should we eat?”

“Yes, actually, I'm starved. I haven't really eaten much of anything this past week,” L said as he lifted off Light.

“I didn't want to say anything before but I thought you looked like you lost weight,” Light said with a frown as he cupped L's face.

L didn't respond. He didn't want to talk about it. Right now was a good time to push those feelings aside and eat something while he still had an appetite. Both teens walked their naked bodies out to the kitchen, L rummaging for viable leftovers. They microwaved what they could and leaned against the counters, laughing and joking as they ate. For a moment they forgot themselves, stepping back into the familiarity of their relationship. For a moment they weren't broken, lovers destined to live apart. For just a quiet moment, everything was alright.

After their late night dinner, they made love in the shower, and again in the bed. They may be seventeen but they couldn't go on forever. Exhaustion took over, and L nestled his head against Light's chest and closed his eyes. “Don't leave me while I'm still awake.” It was his one request of Light. “I can't bear to see you go.”

Light nodded in understanding. He'd wait until the detective was sound asleep before he slipped away into the night. He owed L that much. When it came time to leave, Light could scarcely pull himself away. He felt the well of inevitable tears as he kissed him one last time. This was goodbye forever. He wasn't sure he had the strength to let L go. But the choice was leave and live or stay and die. He couldn't do that to L. L would be expected to be present at Kira's execution. So, despite it killing him with every step he took toward the door, Light chose to go so he could live and spare L that unbearable agony.

On the table was an envelope with more money, a passport, drivers license, and birth certificate. His new name was Asahi. His plan was a plane ticket to America. Hopefully he could find a way to live off the grid.

Light took the envelope and exchanged it for the letters he wrote everyone. Without wasting another minute, Light walked out without looking back. He couldn't look back. If he had, he might just have stayed.

***

L wasn't a child anymore. He hadn't been for a very long time. Today was his 25th birthday and he couldn't help but hate the day he once loved. No, hate was too strong a word. It wasn't hate he felt, it was mourning. He mourned the loss of Light, of that relationship, of his innocence. He was too naïve as a teenager to handle what happened, to know what to do. Not anymore.

He'd suffered a long eight years without Light. That first year was insufferable. Watari had to physically collect L from the hotel room all those years ago. L was weak and depressed, eventually landing himself in the ER with severe dehydration and critically low blood sugar from refusing to eat. It took 6 months before he got out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time. Eventually, Watari forced him to start being productive again. The alternative was having him committed, and L didn't want that.

For the first time in his life, he began making mistakes in his investigations. Watari reprimanded him and tasked Near with assisting L from then on. L couldn't explain then how he just didn't care anymore. He couldn't find the words. Felt he didn't have the right.

It wasn't until L was in his twenties and put an official closing to the Kira case due to inactivity from Kira that he began exploring his own feelings. Why was solving the world’s most heinous crimes his job? And why was that job so all consuming? It wasn't like it stopped crime from happening. Besides, wasn’t he more than a detective? Light always thought so. Always treated him like he was the reason the sun rose on the morning. L missed that feeling. L missed being cherished and loved for who he was and accepted just how he was, shortcomings and all.

He couldn't take it anymore. As if in a trance, L found himself wandering into Watari's study, knocking his knuckles gently against the old wood door. A muffled, “Come in,” sounded from the other side.

Pushing the heavy door open, L felt too weak, too distraught to smile. “Can we talk?”

Watari looked up from his stack of papers, folding his hands over them. L had his undivided attention, “Of course.”

L folded himself into a plush leather chair and stuck his thumb in his mouth, almost like a toddler sucking their thumb. After a moment, he pulled his thumb from his mouth and stretched out, sitting normally, upright. He was trying to convey the seriousness of what he was about to say, “Watari, please accept my immediate resignation as L. I cannot do this anymore.”

If the old man was shocked, he hid it well. “Very well. Who is to replace you?”

“Give it to Near,” he said with a wave of his hand. He no longer cared.

“Why are you doing this? Why now?” Watari couldn't help but ask.

“I finally realized that I am autonomous, and that I can make my own decisions and live the life I want on my terms. It took me a very long time to reach this conclusion. You were right about a lot of things, Watari, but you were wrong about him. He would've given it up for me, all of it, for me. I was too wrapped up in obeying your every command and carrying this sense of duty to the world that was never supposed to be my burden to see that. But I see that now.”  
Watari nodded slowly. He was proud of the man L had become. “Where will you go? What will you do?”  
L smiled, “I'm going to find him and make things right. I was once the world's greatest detective. If anyone can find him, it's me.”

“Good luck, L.” Watari watched his young protégé stand to leave and cleared his throat, “L?”

“Yes, Watari?”

“When you find him, please know you both always have a place here. His secret is safe at Wammy’s. I'm sure his family misses him too. I can arrange a visit or, if they’d like, they can stay.”

Watari’s offer was generous, and L couldn't help the emotion he felt welling within him. He turned to the old man and walked behind his desk. Watari stood as L embraced him. “Thank you, Watari,” L whispered.

There wasn't another word shared between them as L exited the study. Watari hoped L returned. He hoped Light came back with him. L hadn't been the same in 8 years, and this was the only hope he had of L returning to some semblance of normal. The old man wanted L to be happy, and he never saw L happier than when he was with Light. The world was a big place, but with any luck at all L would find what he was looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story. Do you think L finds Light? Let know your thoughts!


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